“Have something in particular in mind?” The woman’s brows rise.
Old Wren would’ve told her no and run out of the store. But I really want to find something to wear for Crew. Tonight.
“I’m looking for something…sweet,” I say. “And sexy.”
Her smile is faint. “What color?”
“Red. Or pink.” My favorites.
She shows me a few options, never passing judgment that I’m an almost eighteen-year- old girl shopping for something to wear for her first time having sex, which is a little…
Awkward.
“We have lots of pretty panty sets right now in the colors you like,” she says as she shows the rack to me.
I thumb through them, pausing on one set in particular. It’s constructed of sheer pink fabric trimmed with red lace, and it hides nothing. Which is sort of my intent.
I don’t want to hide with Crew. Not anymore.
Setting the hanger back, I continue browsing, but nothing else appeals. I grab the pink and red set, pleased to see my size is available and I pluck the hanger from the rack, showing the saleswoman.
“I think I’ll take this.”
She looks pleased. “A perfect choice.”
I follow her to pay for my items, glancing out the window to see Crew waiting for me where I left him across the street, scrolling on his phone. The wind ruffles his hair and he brushes it out of his eyes and I can’t help it.
My heart swells with emotion.
I like this boy.
So much. And maybe we’re moving too fast, but I don’t care.
When something feels right, you shouldn’t deny yourself. And I refuse to deny myself of spending time with Crew.
By the time we’re back at the resort, it’s dark outside, and I’m carrying in the bags filled with my purchases while Crew brings in a pizza we picked up on the way. The smell of it has me ravenous and I drop my bags by the door, reaching for the box before Crew can set it down.
“I’m starving,” I tell him as I lift the lid, grabbing a piece and taking a bite of it.
Oh man, it’s delicious.
Crew watches me with an amused expression on his face. “You’re always hungry.”
“I know.” I set the half-eaten piece back in the box, disappointment filling me. “My mother says I eat too much.”
“Don’t listen to her,” he says, his voice ferocious. “Swear to fucking God, our parents are always trying to fuck us up.”
I frown, reaching for my pizza slice once again. “You think they do it on purpose?”
“Sometimes it feels like it, especially with my parents. My dad.” He shakes his head, and I mentally will him to keep talking. To reveal more. “Like I mentioned, they have zero expectations when it comes to me, but I can’t fuck up. Ever.”
“I think my parents want to marry me off to a rich man so they won’t have to worry about me anymore,” I admit.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, considering how rich his family is, but I want to be honest with him.
“Don’t they have a lot of money already?”
“The whole divorce thing.” My appetite leaves me just thinking about it. “Daddy claims they’re trying to work on their marriage, but I don’t really believe them. I think…”
I clamp my lips shut, not wanting to say the words out loud. It’s okay to think them, but putting them out there, letting them hang in the air and enter the universe, makes it feel like it could actually happen.
“You think what?” Crew asks when I still haven’t spoken.
“That it’s actually going to happen. They’re just trying to protect my feelings or whatever. Get through Christmas, through my birthday and then at the beginning of the new year, they’ll spring it on me,” I explain. “They’re definitely getting a divorce. I can just feel it.”
“Sounds like a shitty way to spend the holidays, pretending everything’s okay when it’s not,” Crew says.
I like how he always keeps it real with me. Not trying to protect my feelings all the time, which is how my father always treats me. Like I’m a delicate little flower who can’t handle bad things.
Maybe I was that sort of person not so long ago, but I feel like I’ve changed. Since school started, and especially lately. Spending time with Crew, learning what’s really going on around me, has opened my eyes.
To some things I don’t want to see.
And others that I’m so glad I know now.
Like the taste of his lips. The way his hands feel when they’re on my body. Inside me.