“It was in the basket. Chris had brought it to our picnic.”
Amina had gone on a date with Christopher Olsen, somewhere at the seaside. I understood that much.
“The knife was on top, in the basket. Between the seats,” she said. “I saw it and just took it. I wasn’t thinking.”
He had forced himself on her. That brute had raped Amina.
“What about the pepper spray?” I asked.
“I always carry that. Stella has one too. You can buy them online.”
I knew that, of course. I was the one who had urged Stella to purchase it. I had even paid for it.
“So first you sprayed him and then you grabbed the knife?”
Amina nodded and I gently stroked her swollen, pale cheek.
“But he figured out what I was doing before I hit the spray button. He put up his arms and turned his face away. Some of it must have hit him, though, because he roared like an animal. Then I tried to unlock the car door, but the button was in the wrong spot, on the dashboard. I had to lean over his lap, but at last I managed to get the door open. That’s when I saw the knife.”
“And you ran away from the car with the knife in your hand?”
“Yes.”
I tried to picture it.
“He followed you?”
She nodded again.
“Obviously I didn’t want to use the knife. Why the hell did I take it with me?”
“Stop,” I said. “There’s no point in that. You were terrified. You did the right thing. Anyone would have taken the knife.”
Amina swore at herself.
“What about Stella?” I asked. “What was Stella doing there?”
“I don’t know. She was … angry … worried. She had called and sent a bunch of messages.”
“She didn’t know you were with Christopher?”
“I lied to her. I betrayed my best friend.”
Amina doubled over, sobbing. And I tried to comfort her, to embrace and stroke her. Even as my mind was gearing up.
“Stella had blood on her blouse, Amina.”
She shuddered and turned her face up to me.
“He’s dead! Don’t you get it? Dead!”
I squeezed her arms hard, holding her the way you hold your baby to keep it from plunging to the floor.
My thoughts slowly turned down a new path.
You have no idea what you’re capable of doing for another person until you are faced with a true threat. I still didn’t realize what I was prepared to sacrifice for Amina’s sake.
“Stella is in custody under suspicion of murder,” I said. “The police were here and searched our house.”
Amina sobbed.
“I’m sorry! It’s all my fault! Can you drive me to the police station so I can tell them? They have to let Stella go.”
Naturally, she was right. That was what we had to do. It was the right thing. Amina would lay out the truth for the police and Stella would be released from jail. Justice would be served, eventually, in some form. If there was such a thing as justice. Either way, there were extenuating circumstances. Amina would presumably be convicted of manslaughter, but she was young so her sentence would be reduced. It wouldn’t be out of the question for her to be released in just a few years.
But she would never become a doctor. She would always carry that conviction with her. Her bright future had suddenly gone fuzzy at the edges.
“We have to get Stella out,” she said. “Can you come with me? Please, can you give me a ride?”
I pushed back my chair and took the car keys from the silver dish on the kitchen island.
Was there any other option?
“The police will figure out that one of us did it,” Amina said. “They’re going to figure that out, right?”
I stopped midstep.
Of course there was another option. There always is.
Amina’s words swirled around in my head. They’ll figure out that one of us did it. But that is not enough for a conviction.
I looked at Amina; I thought of Stella. My heart ached.
A person cannot be convicted of murder if there are two potential perpetrators and it’s impossible to prove which one of them committed the murder or, alternately, that they were in collusion.
I put my car keys back in the dish.
105
I pulled Amina over to the sofa and told her to sit. Her motions were mechanical. It was clear that she hadn’t had time to work through what had happened. It was my job to be strong and rational, to think like a defense attorney.
“Aren’t we going?” Amina asked.
I sat down right next to her and placed my hands on her knees.