Doctor shopping. I saw this a lot.
‘As well as the sleepers, she had prescriptions for Valium and Xanax. The tablets were hidden everywhere in the flat.’
‘Like?’
Jonah and Naaz exchanged a shrug. ‘In jacket pockets, zipped inside cushions, sellotaped to the underside of the couch.’
Deep inside me, a bell clanged. This type of subterfuge featured a lot in testimonials – what was different about this time?
For a second I puzzled over it but had to move on.
‘She had cut the cards of tablets up into tiny amounts,’ Naaz said. ‘Twos, mostly, sometimes four. We found two tablets inside a bag of oven chips in the freezer. That was an accident,’ she added. ‘Finding those.’
‘We laid them all out on the coffee table,’ Jonah said, ‘with the prescriptions, and called her in.’
‘You’re making it sound like there were thousands,’ Ella yelled. ‘There were literally, like, twenty.’
‘There were thirty-one sleepers, eighteen Xanax and twenty-nine Valium,’ he said. ‘And it wasn’t the number, it was that they were hidden.’
‘But –’
Again, Murdo shushed Ella.
‘We hoped it would shock her into stopping,’ Jonah continued. ‘But she went crazy. Crying. Saying we didn’t know how traumatized she was. I felt really guilty … but angry too because how could I get her to stop if I couldn’t say anything to her?’
‘Same,’ Naaz agreed.
‘Before the mugging, did you ever notice a pattern of impulsive behaviour from Ella?’ Leaving nothing to chance, we’d already been through this on the phone.
‘Hey!’ Ella’s face was dark with umbrage. ‘What’s that got to do with sleeping tablets –’
With a look I managed to silence her but poor Jonah was agonized. I nodded at him to continue. ‘Yeah. Like, she and I binge-watch stuff, same as everyone, but when Ella loves something, she literally stays up all night. That’s a regular thing. Which is bad because of work. And bad because it’s something we’re meant to share. I always fall asleep but in the morning she’s still sitting there, watching the last episode.’
Ella squeaked with outrage and Jonah whispered, ‘Sorry.’
‘There was a time we were watching a K-drama –’ He looked at me. ‘A TV series from Korea.’
I know what a K-drama is! Exsqueeze me, son, I’m down with the kids!
‘We were saying how cool it looked and we’d love to go, but you know, it was just … talk. So I went to sleep and woke up to discover she’d booked us flights and an Airbnb. In Seoul.’
‘Had she consulted you about getting time off work?’ I knew she hadn’t.
‘No. And when I tried, I couldn’t. And we couldn’t afford it. We were able to cancel the Airbnb but not the flight. We had to take the hit.’
Ella stood up. ‘Fuck you,’ she yelled at Jonah. Then to Naaz, ‘And you.’ And to the rest of us, ‘And all of you! I’m not staying in this fucking shithole another second!’
‘Ella.’ I bit out the words. ‘Sit. Down.’
If Ella was really set on leaving, I couldn’t stop her, so I had to channel Scary Rachel hard. ‘Everyone who cares about you wants you to be here,’ I said. ‘Not just Jonah and Naaz, but your mum and dad and brothers. And the rest of us here in the group? Right?’
‘Yeah,’ Chalkie said. ‘Yep.’ Trassa, Bronte, Giles, even Harlie made agreeing noises. Poor Dennis, still in bits after his going-over on Monday, was the only one who couldn’t muster enthusiasm.
Ella hovered, torn with indecision. I knew where she was at: utterly adamant that this was an outrageous travesty, but afraid that something strange and terrible was taking place which everyone other than her was in on.
‘At least stay for your lunch?’ Chalkie cajoled. ‘’Mon, Ella, who else will do the crossword with me?’
‘Do, good girl,’ Trassa threw in.
‘Okay,’ Ella mumbled. ‘But I’m leaving this afternoon.’
That seemed like a good place to end things. The group rose and surrounded Ella, ferrying her off for tea and chocolate biscuits. She would rant and rave over the next couple of hours, but from my past experience, I was fairly sure she would stay.
39
And she did. At two o’clock, she slunk back into the room, looking wiped out. A confrontation like the one she’d had this morning was a total head wreck. Not to mention that all her private fears and suspicions about her tablet habit had cracked open, demanding attention. The next few days would be rough for her.