I was stunned as I walked up to the gravesite. “What are you . . . how did you all know?”
“Did you think we wouldn’t be here for you?” Grace asked as she hugged me.
Rudy smiled and hugged me, too. “I keep telling you, you’re both my boss and my buddy. Just because I work for you doesn’t mean I can’t care about you, too.”
Juice grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
“Are we waiting for others, dear?” Mrs. Gresham asked.
“No.”
“I can say a bible verse if you like.”
“Sure, that would be fine,” I said.
Grace and Juice stood on either side of me, all three of us holding hands.
Mrs. Gresham’s voice was soft and gentle as she began. “‘Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution . . .’”
I was so sure I could keep it together. And I probably would have, too, until I remembered how stupid I’d been for trying to keep Sam and every other thing in my life that originated out of Chillicothe a secret, a secret that was no longer secret. A secret that was never worth keeping in the first place.
“‘。 . . No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us . . .’”
Tears rushed to the surface, a powder keg of emotion that exploded.
“‘。 . . for I am convinced that neither death nor life . . .’”
I wept for all the lost innocence between me and Sam. I cried for leaving him behind and heading off to find a future without him. I cried for the kid brother who never really got to be a kid at all. But mostly, I cried for all the pain I’d caused him.
“‘。 . . neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.’”
She finished and everyone eased away to give me a private moment of grief. I slipped a white rose from the spray covering Sam’s casket. It was the loneliest moment of my entire life. I only hoped he knew how much I loved him and how far I’d go to protect him and fight for him.
A few minutes later, Mrs. Gresham gently touched my arm and handed me a small packet of tissues. “Will you be okay, dear?”
“Yes. Thank you.” I patted my eyes.
Rudy walked over to me. “So the rumor machine has been buzzing again. And I don’t like what I’m hearing,” Rudy said, half joking.
“I’m sorry, but there’s no place for me there.”
“I heard there was a place for you at the top of the organization,” he said. “You know people tell me things and they told me the board wanted you to take over as CEO. Maybe help give the company a fresh start.”
“You mean another figurehead position to gloss over the mess they created?” I shook my head at the thought. “Besides, half that board is filled with racists and bigots. Nope. I’m good. Trust me, they don’t want people like you and me in there. Those protesters out in front of the building knew it all along.”
“I don’t disagree, which is why I’ve dusted off my résumé. By the way, thanks for the save. It scares me to think we worked with people like that, huh?” Rudy and I stood in silence for a beat. “So what are you going do?” he asked.
“I’m gonna take some time off. Attend to some things I’ve been neglecting. I’ll stay in touch.” I hugged him before he headed to his car.
Grace stepped up and hugged me. “I’m here for you, girl. I’ll swing by your place later today.” Then she leaned in and whispered, “What’s up with the cutie with the locs?”
She made me smile. “Good-bye, Grace. I’ll see you later.”
I looked around for Juice, but I didn’t see him so I headed to my car.
“Hey, beautiful! Wait up.”
I glanced over my shoulder. “Thaddeus.” He was dressed in a sports jacket, jeans, and an open-collar shirt. The nervous butterflies were back.
He gave me a gentle smile. “Please don’t call me that. You sound like my mother and I don’t want images of my mother popping up when I look at you. Thad or Juice is just fine.”
I smiled. He was funny and that reminded me of Sam too. He walked me to my car.
“So, let’s get together again,” he said. “Maybe a nice restaurant this time instead of a gun shop backed by white supremacists.”
I bit my bottom lip. “Not right now. I need to sort out some things.”
Juice nodded understandingly. “Well, you have my number . . . and now I have yours, too.” He winked. “I’m persistent.”