I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you for everything.”
Now I had one last thing to do to put my life in order.
*
One week later, I sat inside the office of Miriam Beazer, director at the Beachwood Assisted Care Facility. A bulletin board hung on a side wall containing sundry notes and flyers and a drawing with the words I love Nana scrawled by a child’s hand. Miriam sat across from me trying to make small talk and laughing nervously.
“You’ll sign in all the highlighted areas.” Miriam opened a folder and removed a small stack of papers before passing them across her desk to me. “Are you sure about all this, Ms. Littlejohn? This is a huge responsibility and with your career—”
“I’m very sure.” I began signing the paperwork. Somehow this decision felt right and long overdue. A lot had happened over the past couple of weeks and taking a chance on Vera felt better than anything else I’d done in a long time.
“Ms. Littlejohn, I assure you Ms. Henderson was never in any danger here at Beachwood. Safety is our—”
“I’d just prefer to take her home.” I said, never looking up from the documents as I signed them. “I think Vera will be more comfortable in familiar surroundings.”
“But who will care for her?” The concern in the woman’s voice was enough to press me to look at her.
“I will. She’s family and who better to take care of her than family?” I smiled and slid the papers back across the desk. “I’ve hired a private nurse to help me. I think Vera ought to spend these precious days on her farm, sleeping in her own bed. A place she knows and loves.”
I finished up the paperwork and left her office. In the lobby, Vera sat in a wheelchair in a flowered dress and jacket, her hair in a soft gray ponytail. She looked like a little kid on Christmas morning. Smiling. Excited. Happy.
I kissed the top of her head. “Let’s go home, Vee.” An aide pushed Vera’s wheelchair and helped me get her buckled inside the car.
People say you can’t go home again. I wouldn’t know. I’ve never considered Chillicothe home, at least not until now. I’d always been so eager to live somewhere else. To be someone else. Only now did I realize I had been on a fool’s errand. I was wounded and bound up in the crippling vise of secrets and lies. Everyone has a secret. And no matter how old the secret, it always seems to sit right on the surface of our consciousness, buoyed by all the effort we put into suppressing it. But it’s a rare secret kept in the dark that never comes into the light.
Eventually they all do.
Mine did.
The day I accepted the promotion in Nate’s office, it was as if fate struck a match and imparted a small glow onto my deadly cache. But perhaps it was all supposed to happen the way it did. My secrets slowly tumbling out into the light of day was what I needed all along to finally realize what was important. Family. Home.
Spring was still over two months away. Whether it was global warming or the fickle nature of Atlanta weather, somehow there was a pleasant rise in the air temperature and a clear blue sky to go along with it. The balmy breeze whipped around the edge of my skirt as I hopped inside the car beside Vera. I started the engine and headed for Interstate 20 East, toward Vera’s farmhouse in Chillicothe.
I opened the sunroof and let all the windows down. The fresh air rushed inside the car, sweeping across my face and blowing my coils about.
“That air feels good, Ellie.”
It did feel good.
It felt like freedom.
Acknowledgments
First and foremost, I thank God, whose divine hand is all over this book you hold in yours.
I set out to write a story about family and all the ways we are connected to and nurtured by one another. To that end, there is much family to thank for helping me on this journey.
To my new family: My enormously talented editor, Asanté Simons, for believing in this book from her first read and all the reads thereafter. Thank you for listening and for making me believe no question was too small or too stupid. To my incredible team at HarperCollins William Morrow, including Lucia Macro, Lainey Mays, Virginia Stanley, Chris Connolly, Liate Stehlik, Jennifer Hart, Kaitlin Harri, Christina Joell, Ploy Siripant, Diahann Sturge, Rachel Weinick, the entire Lead Read committee, and the sales team. To the woman who made all my writing dreams come true, my fierce and fantastic agent, Lori Galvin. Thank you for your wisdom, grace, and ever the right amount of honesty to rein me in or let me run free! You are an angel on earth. And a huge thanks to Allison Warren, Shenel Ekici-Moling, Erin Files, and the entire Aevitas Creative Management team. Thank you for holding my hand and guiding me through this crazy, exciting ride. To Paul Monnin for helping me get the legal ethics details right. And to moukies （your insight and wisdom are pure gold!）。