It couldn’t hurt to try.
Pip felt a little more room inside her chest as it loosened around her heart, a feeling of resolve steel-cold in her stomach. She welcomed it back like an old friend.
‘Now, Pip, don’t be like that –’ Hawkins said, the words too careful and too soft.
‘I will be however I am,’ she spat, stuffing the papers back into her bag, the angry-wasp sound of her pulling up the zip. ‘And you,’ she stopped to wipe her nose across her sleeve, the breath heavy in her chest, ‘I have you to thank for that too.’ She shouldered her bag, pausing at the door out of Interview Room 3. ‘You know,’ she said, her hand stalling above the handle, ‘Charlie Green taught me one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned. He told me that, sometimes, justice must be found outside of the law. And he was right.’ She glanced back at Hawkins, his arms wrapping around his chest to protect it from her eyes. ‘But, actually, I think he didn’t go far enough. Maybe justice can only ever be found outside of the law, outside of police stations like this, of people like you who say you understand but you never do.’
Hawkins unwrapped his arms and opened his mouth to answer, but Pip didn’t let him.
‘He was right, Charlie Green,’ she said. ‘And I hope you never find him.’
‘Pip.’ There was a bite to Hawkins’ voice now, a hard edge that she’d goaded to the surface. ‘That’s not helpf—’
‘Oh, and,’ she cut him off, her fingers gripping the handle too hard, like she might just bend the metal, leave her prints in it forever, ‘do me a favour. If I disappear, don’t look for me. Don’t even bother.’
‘Pi—’
But the door slamming behind her cut off the end of her name, filling the corridor outside with the sound of old gunshots. Six of them, burrowing down past her skin and her ribs, rebounding around her chest, exactly where they belonged.
A new sound joined in, tapping in between the echoes of the gun. Footsteps. Someone walking up the hallway towards her, in a dark uniform, his long brown hair pushed back from his face, and his eyes widening as he spotted her.
‘Are you OK?’ Dan da Silva asked as she stormed past, the tunnels of their disturbed air colliding as she did. Pip barely caught the concerned look on his face before she was moving on. There wasn’t time to answer, to stop, or nod or to say she was fine when it was clear she wasn’t.
She just needed to get out of here. Out of the belly of this station where the gun first decided to follow her home. This very corridor where she’d walked the other way, wearing the blood of a dead man she couldn’t save. There was no help for her here and she was on her own, again. But she had herself now, and Ravi. She just needed to get out of this bad, bad place, and never ever come back.
File Name: List of potential enemies.docx ? Max Hastings – has the most reason to hate me = number one suspect. He is dangerous, we all know this. I didn’t know I could hate anyone as much as I hate him. But if it is Max and he is planning to get me I WILL GET HIM FIRST.
? Max’s parents –？
? Ant Lowe – definitely hates me. Only attempted to speak to him once since I got suspended for shoving him up against the lockers. He was always the prankster in the group, even when it crossed the line. Could this be him? Revenge for when I snapped on him? But the first Who will look for you message was sent before we all fell out.
? Lauren Gibson – same reasons as above. She’s definitely petty enough to do something like this, especially if it was something Ant suggested. Dead birds aren’t her style, though. Connor, Cara and Zach don’t speak to Ant or Lauren any more and Lauren blames me for that. Her fucking boyfriend shouldn’t have called me a liar, then. Liar liar lair liar li ala li la r lar.
? Tom Nowak – Lauren’s ex-boyfriend. Gave me false information about Jamie Reynolds just to get on the podcast. Used me and I fell for it. In return, I humiliated him in front of the entire school, and online. He deleted his socials after season two aired. Definite reason to hate me. He’s still in town; Cara has seen him in the café.
? Daniel da Silva – even though Nat and I are close now, her brother has been a suspect of mine twice before, in both Andie’s case and Jamie’s case. I admitted this publicly on the podcast, so he definitely knows. I might have caused trouble between him and his wife for revealing that he was talking to Layla.
? Leslie from the corner shop – don’t even know her surname. But she hates me after the incident with Ravi. And she was one of the protestors at Stanley’s funeral. I screamed at her. Why were they there? Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?