It could be worse. They could have raped me like they did Josie. They could have removed my baby like they did Megan.
“I want to help you,” Aehako says softly, and all the teasing is gone from his voice.
I give him a faint smile. “That’s sweet and all, but I’m fine. Really.” I drop the crushed leaves into a leather pouch. He’s right that I’m squeezing them to death. I don’t even know if I can give these to Maylak. They look pretty mangled.
“You’re angry at me, aren’t you, Sad Eyes? Is it something I said or did?” He leans in close and I catch a whiff of his scent. He smells like the berries they use for soap, and a hint of sweat that somehow smells wonderful on him. “My goal is to make you smile, not bring more sadness to your face.”
“I’m fine,” I say, even though his earlier conversation with the female sa-khui still stings. To me, it matters if he finds me attractive or not. I’m only human – ha.
“You’re not fine.”
“Yes, so you like to point out,” I respond automatically, then mentally wince. Ugh. Why did I go there?
“What is this word? I am not understanding.” He tilts his head. “Is ‘fine’ the wrong word? Raahosh says he doesn’t understand half of what Liz says, so I worry our language barrier is worse than we thought.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say quickly. I step away since he’s awful close and it’s making me fluttery. “I think Maylak needed more tea leaves.” I hurry over to the next plant.
“Fine means…ahhhh.” He chuckles and follows me. “You heard my conversation.”
I shrug my shoulders as a non-answer.
“You did, and your feelings are hurt because you think I do not find you attractive.”
‘That’s not it at all,” I lie, averting my face. I feel like my emotions are painted across my forehead and he’s going to be able to see right through me.
“Mmm. Is that so? Then look me in the face, Sad Eyes, and tell me this.”
I don’t. I pluck a few leaves off of the newest bush, because it’s a nice distraction.
“Look at me, Kira,” he commands again.
I peek over at him. It’s weird that I’m so attracted to an alien. Back on earth, my relationships were nonexistent. I’m the type of girl invisible to guys. I don’t dress in sexy clothing, I don’t flirt, and I rarely wear makeup. My hair’s an uninteresting brown and sits flat against my head, and my face is a little too long to be pretty. I’m not even a great conversationalist. I’m not a virgin because I’m holding out for marriage.
I’m a virgin because I’m boring and unsexy. Normally I don’t care. But Aehako? He’s masculine and utterly breathtaking. He’s one of the few sa-khui who keeps his hair cropped super short against his skull. It’s a short buzz against his scalp, which just draws attention to his big, handsome smile and the enormous horns that jut from his browline. The plated, bumpy ridges down his face are also more prominent, and it makes his face – especially his nose – seem blunter than most. But he’s got such an endearing smile that you can’t help but find him handsome. He’s tall and muscular, thickly built instead of lean like Liz’s Raahosh, and his entire body is a pale slate-blue that I find intriguing.
To say he rings my bell is an understatement. And I hate that I don’t do the same for him. I look away again. “I don’t care if you think I’m ugly.”
“I don’t think that at all,” he murmurs, and I feel the heat of his big body as he moves closer to me again. “I simply did not correct Asha because I wanted to get rid of her, not continue a conversation.”
So he thinks I’m pretty? A happy shiver races through me.
I squelch that line of thinking. It doesn’t matter if he finds me attractive. Leading him on is just a mistake, and I can’t afford to get my heart caught up in matters.
I’m sterile. There’s no way he’s ever going to resonate to me. He can flirt all he wants, but a relationship with me is a dead end. “We’re just friends,” I say, when he leans in even closer.
“If we are just friends, why do you care so much?”
“I don’t,” I protest again. I look over and his face is inches from mine. It makes that weird flutter start in my stomach once more. “Why…why are you standing so close?”
That lopsided, too-sexy grin curves his mouth. “Because you keep backing away.” He leans in. “And I like the scent of you.”