“Aehako,” I say, my voice soft. I can’t lead him on. He needs to know that flirting with me will get him nowhere. He should save his attentions for a woman that might someday be able to be his permanent mate. “Listen…” I stop, because he’s pulling something out from under his tunic. “What are you doing?”
“I am giving you a courting gift.” He pulls something long and thick and wrapped in leather out of his tunic and holds it out to me.
“A gift?” I take it from him, touched. We humans have so little and I already feel like a big mooch with all the things that the kind sa-khui people have given us. Now he’s giving me a gift?
“A courting gift,” he emphasizes. “I worked very hard on it.”
A…courting gift? Is this a sa-khui thing? “I see.” I shouldn’t take it, but I have to admit that I’m curious as to what it is. It fills my hands and is about a foot long, and thick like a baseball bat. I unwrap it slowly… And then stare. Surely that’s not…”Is this your, um, penis?”
He nods proudly. “It’s a very good likeness. I worked hard to get it just right. Of course, the others think I’m mad for staring at my own cock for hours while I whittle.” He shrugs. “Do you not like it?”
It’s a dildo. I stare at it in a mixture of horror and disbelief. It’s made of bone, and I’m a little terrified of what sort of creature comes with bones this…thick. Oh God, I’m blushing. It’s really thick, though. And long. Surely these cannot be the actual dimensions of his penis. But there’s no mistaking the heavy crown on the end, and the veins tracing the length of his, ahem, equipment. It’s definitely a penis. There are even ridges along the top like the ridges on his brows and big muscular arms. And there are even balls attached, and something that looks suspiciously like a pinky finger above the cock.
Dear lord, that has to be the ‘spur’ Liz mentioned. I thought she was making fun of us.
Turns out, not so much.
I push the…thing…back toward him. “I can’t take this!”
For a moment, he looks crushed. His laughing smile disappears and his expression turns fierce. “Is it another? Has your heart already been claimed?”
I give my head a small shake. “What are you talking about?” I’m baffled. I push the dildo back toward him.
His brows draw together and his hands go to his hips. “Is this not an appropriate courting gift?”
“Humans don’t do courting gifts!”
“But Liz…” He breaks off as realization crosses his face.
“I am going to kill her,” I say grimly.
Instead of being angry, Aehako throws back his big, horned head and roars with laughter. He clutches his sides, incredibly amused. I’m glad one of us is having fun at this little joke. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here. “Take this back,” I say, pushing it toward him.
He raises a hand and shakes his head, still chucking. “Ah no, it was meant for courting, and I do intend to court you, my sad-eyed human. Keep it.” His eyebrows wiggle. “Unless you would like to see the real thing?”
“I–what? No!” I sputter. “I don’t want to see your penis!”
“Are you sure? It’s quite a nice one. Look at how fine my gift is!” He gestures at the bone dildo. “I would give you much pleasure with it. I’m quite good in the furs.”
“I don’t want to hear about your sexual prowess,” I hiss. I wrap the thing in the leathers again because I’ll be damned if I’m going to wave a big dildo through the entire cavern, and he doesn’t seem to be taking it back.
“No?” He looks momentarily frustrated. “How do human men court the women they like, then?”
“Not with dildos. They give them flowers and chocolates and kisses and things.”
His arms cross over his chest. “I thought you said they did not give gifts.”
“Kisses are not gifts!”
“What are they?”
I blink at him, stumped. He doesn’t know what a kiss is? Is he joking?
“This is a trick, right?” I say, gazing at him suspiciously. “I’m supposed to tell you what a kiss is and then you insist on demonstrating and then the next thing I know, we’re playing tonsil hockey together.”
His brows furrow as I speak, and it’s clear he has no idea what I’m going on about. “Tonsil…hah-kee?”
“Stop it already.” I’m exasperated by both him and Liz, since they seem to be conspiring against me. “I can’t believe Liz would tell you about dildos and not kissing.”