He moves to my side and strokes my hair off my face. “Har-loh?”
“I’m okay,” I tell him with a faint smile. “Really.”
Rukh reaches into his bag and pulls out a sprig of curled leaves. I picked them from a bush as we walked, recognizing the plant as one that grew near the caves. It makes a good tea and soothes the stomach. Apparently Rukh knows this as well. I take it from him and chew on the leaves, thinking.
Maybe I can find something alcoholic when we get to our destination. Or maybe I should just suck it up and tackle the man. It’s not like there’s anything physically wrong with him. He’s gorgeous, he’s clean, and his hair is no longer a tangled mess around his head. He’s utterly devoted to me and it’s clear that I can do no wrong in his eyes.
I’m just…really scared at the thought of being a mother. A wilderness mom, no less, with no one around me but Rukh. Yeah, that’s the part that scares me.
As I chew the bitter leaves, Rukh grabs my cloak and tucks it around my shoulders, fussing over me. He leads me back to the spot I’ve claimed as my bed and doesn’t relax until I lie my head down and feign sleep.
I may not want to be a mother, but do I have any other choice?
RUKH
We’re here.
I grab my tired female’s hand and lead her forward, excited. I want her to love the new place I’ve taken her to live. It’s safe here. The bad ones rarely come to the salty waters because they’re so far away, which makes it perfect for us. There are several large caves nearby, and I know the perfect one for my fragile woman.
I touch her cheek and she smiles at me, though her face is still troubled. Whatever happened in her sleep last night has taken some of the spark out of her today. She is quiet, less talkative than usual. Normally I listen to her babble and try to pick out words, but today she is silent, and I find that I miss our game. I miss the cheery sound of her voice.
I want things to go back to how they were, but I don’t know how to ask. It’s endlessly frustrating.
I point at the distant cliffs. There is a valley that cuts through the hills. On one side, there are many caves, shielded from the worst of the winds by the high walls. A short walk away, there is the endless salty waters that roll and ripple all day long. Here, there are many things to eat. Much of the water cannot be drank, but there are streams that taste good and are pure. The caves here are bigger.
The caves here are safe.
I want her to be pleased. So I gesture at the cliffs and then search my small collection of words to find the right one for ‘home’。 “Here,” I decide on. I know that one.
Her flat brow wrinkles. “Here? Weerhere?” She puts a hand to her forehead and tries to peer into the distance. “Where?”
She seems excited, so I take her hand in mine and lead her forward. I want her to see the caves, and to be impressed by them. I want to please my…my mate. Memory bursts in my mind. I remember the word ‘mate’ and what it means. It means she belongs to me and I belong to her. Har-loh is my mate. Together we will be a family. And I know – I remember – that the song humming in my chest along with hers? It declares that we are mates.
I turn to her and press her hand to my breastbone. I have ridges in this spot to cover and protect my vulnerable parts, but she is only softness. I press my hand to my chest, and then my other hand to hers. “Mate. Yes?”
Har-loh’s eyes widen. “Righteer?” She points at the ground and says again. “Here?”
Now I am confused. “Har-loh Rukh mate. Har-loh mate. Rukh mate Har-loh.”
Recognition dawns in her eyes. “Ohhh.Younodeword ‘mate’？”
“Mate,” I tell her happily. I am singing with joy inside. A mate is a wonderful thing. It means I will never be alone again.
“Mate,” she agrees, her expression shy. “Still rappinmahbrain round datwun.” But her smile is bright. “Show me here.”
I lead her forward. It’s a short walk into the valley, and here the snows are so light that we no longer need the snowshoes. I toss them over my shoulder and carry both mine and hers, so she can be free to explore. I want her to be pleased here. I want her to delight in this new place I’ve taken her. There are so many things to show her – where we will drink, where we will sleep, the game that crawls along the beach, the shells just inside the water full of tasty things to eat, and the icy islands that float past in the salty waters. It is a new world here, very different from the snowy mountains we just left. It has been a while since I have been here, but I want to show her everything. To share my world with her.