Oh well. I didn’t want to swim anyhow. I just want a nice home, and this will do. I smile encouragingly at Rukh as he returns to my side. “I like this place, big guy.”
“Eat?” He asks, holding the leggy sand-scorpion out to me.
I shake my head, swallowing hard. “Later.” Much, much later. I wish I had a piece of paper to write on, because I feel like I need to make a list of everything we need to make this place a home. Blankets, spears, a stack of dung-firewood, maybe some of those pink potato-like plant trees that grew near the old tribal caves if we can find them…I stare off into the distance, mentally cataloguing things. Just thinking about everything that needs to be done is exhausting, because the only people here to work are myself and Rukh.
At my side, Rukh puts his kill into his bag, sheathes his knife, and then takes my hand in his. The smile dies from his face and he reaches out to touch my cheek.
Uh oh. “What’s wrong?”
His throat works, and then he stares off at the ocean. Worry shoots through me, and I reach out and touch his arm, squeezing it. Or I would if he didn’t have those strange plates running along his skin. But he gets the idea, and he reaches out to touch my cheek, a faint smile on his face again. “Vaashan home.”
I tilt my head and my brain scrolls through the alien language, looking for a match. “I don’t recognize that word.”
“Here.” He gestures at the sand, then at the distant cliffs. When I give a small shake to indicate my confusion, he pulls my hand to his cheek and rubs my knuckles against his skin. Then he sighs sadly and begins to tug me forward.
I follow, though I admit I’m wary. What now? I can’t possibly imagine what he’s going to show me. We head down the beach, and Rukh seems to know exactly where he’s going. He already showed me the cave we were going to stay in…is someone else – or something else – nearby?
I’m not prepared for what he shows me, though. We find another cave, and Rukh holds my hand tightly as we stoop and enter. This cave is some distance away from the other one, and very small. But I figure out what it is the moment I see the mound of rocks piled into an oval, and the beaded necklace hanging above on a rocky outcropping.
This is a grave.
Rukh drops to his knees by it, and he holds my hand tight, as if terrified of letting go. After a moment, he looks over at me. “Vaashan home.”
“Vaashan is your father?” I ask. That has to be who this is. I’ve gotten a few hints from him over the time that I’ve known him that he was with his father, but then his father was gone. And of course, a wild boy has to come from somewhere.
I stare down at the grave. I don’t even mind the crushing grip that Rukh has on my hand. He needs the comfort, and if there’s any small amount I can give him, I will. I try to imagine how heartbreaking this must have been for him: to be alone except for one other person, and then to lose that person? And then to have to bury them, alone? I stare at the mound of hand-sized rocks. These could not have come from the beach. How long had he gathered them to bury his father?
How long has Rukh been alone?
I rub his arm, utterly full of sympathy for my poor barbarian. “Were you very young when your father died?”
The sad look he gives me has no comprehension, and I don’t press. It’s not something that needs to be told at the moment. I can guess from his wild appearance and his utter bafflement about certain things that he was rather young, indeed.
My poor Rukh. No wonder he freaked out when we saw the other hunter. No wonder he clubbed me over the head and carried me off. He must have felt the resonance and acted on the possessive surge of feeling. He doesn’t know how to cope with needing another person.
Hell, the fact that he cares for me probably scares the shit out of him. I know how that feels, but not to the depths he does. I’ve been ripped from everything I knew at home, but my family there was dead, and here, I’ve had the company of other humans.
He’s had no one for so long.
My chest resonates, and his picks up the song.
I stroke his arm and lean my cheek against his shoulder. My poor mate. After all, we are mates, aren’t we? I’ve been fighting this so hard because I’ve been afraid, and seeing this has totally changed my perspective. How long has Rukh had to suffer alone? And now that he has someone – me – I’ve been pushing him away. I’ve been ignoring resonance because I’ve felt like I’m not ready.
I wonder if anyone is truly ready, though.
In that moment, I want to give Rukh everything I possibly can. I want to give him a mate, a family, teach him about sex, and share everything every day together. I want him to know he’s not alone.