“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t give me unwarranted hope.”
But hope is the only thing that’s keeping me from not taking the next breath. I rise again, this time kissing the tip of his chin.
Joe’s head drops to his chest. “Ever, please.”
I kiss his neck, running my hot tongue over his Adam’s apple.
“Fuck. Here we go,” he moans.
I know it’s wrong. I know it’s disastrous. Most of all, I know I’m going to regret it. And still, I kiss the spot where his neck meets his chest, scraping it with my teeth. Then I wait for a beat before rolling my tongue over that sliver of flesh and sucking it into my mouth, applying pressure.
“I—”
I cup him through his pants and feel his swollen, huge erection pulsating against my palm. Twitching. Daring me to squeeze. I look up at him and blink innocently. “You were saying?”
That’s when he lets go of whatever is left of his tattered self-control. He grabs the back of my hair and walks me backward until my back slams against the wall. He kisses me so hungrily I think he is going to tear a chunk off my face. We’re all teeth and tongues as we frantically push each other’s pants and underwear down in the hallway. We kick them aside. Neither of us makes a move to the bedroom. We both know how fragile this is. How easily one of us can pull away.
I reek, and my legs are unshaven. I know Joe doesn’t care. We’re naked from the waist down but still wearing our sweaters. His hand finds my center as I grip his cock. I start pumping while he plays with my juices. I am so wet I should be embarrassed, but I’m too drunk to care.
“Shit,” he hisses into my mouth, devouring me. “You’re so wet.” He drives two fingers into me, stretching me, preparing me.
I rub my thumb against the head of his penis, moving a pearl of precum over it. “Look who’s talking.”
“Ever?” He stops, pulling away from me as he looks into my eyes seriously.
“Yes?” I ask, panting.
“This is very important.”
“Okay.”
“Can I fuck you?”
“Yes,” I say, relieved. I grab his face and kiss him. “Yes, please. Please fuck me.”
He pins me against the wall and drives into me in one go. He is bare. He nails me against the wall, pounding into me like an animal. It is drunk. It is raw. And there are tears everywhere. We both cry silently as I hold on to him. His head is in the crook of my neck. There is nothing sexy about what we’re doing. We’re two broken people trying to be whole together, knowing it is doomed. That we’ll fail.
“Presley,” I pant, digging my fingernails into the flesh of his neck. “Are you still seeing her?”
He grunts, pushing deeper and harder into me. Shame floods me. My pleasure is so tangible I can taste it in my mouth. The dark tang of him. I’m about to come, and I know exactly what I’m doing.
Yes, I’m drunk. But not drunk enough to forget I’m fucking my dead fiancé’s baby brother while I still wear his ring on my finger.
“Answer me,” I demand.
“You goddamn know Presley was never in the race.” Joe shuts me up with a dirty, violent kiss. “As long as you have breath in you, no one else stands a chance.”
I fall apart in his arms. Wave after wave of pleasure is crashing into me. I clench around him. Then he comes too. I smile to myself, a twisted smile. The smile of a woman who’s just done something horrible she can never take back.
We both tumble to the floor, limbs tangled. We’re sweaty and smelly. He slides away from me. We stare at the ceiling. I wonder if we are both wondering the same thing. If Dom is somewhere up there, in the sky, watching us. If he is currently shaking his head, telling his new roommates, See these two assholes? They’re my fiancée and my brother.
“I’m the worst human in the world.” I close my eyes.
“You wish. That title is saved for me.”
“No.”
“I’m his brother.”
“I’m still wearing his ring.”
He groans, rubbing his face with one hand. “Good point. I’ll kill a puppy or something and take the Worst Human cake.”
“It’s not funny.”
“I wasn’t the one who thought this is a good idea,” he reminds me as he reaches for his jeans and takes out a pack of cigarettes.
I check my watch. It is half past eleven. From a distance, I hear my phone ringing. It’s where I left it, in the living room. I bet it is Nora. I bet she is mad. I’m not going to be able to take a shower here after all.