The bathroom door opens, and Silas walks in wearing nothing but boxers. I take my time appreciating his body. He pauses halfway through the room and stares at me, a tinge of disbelief in his eyes. “You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined you lying in my bed with me, Alanna. You might think you know how much I want you, but I promise you, it’s a thousand times more. I’ll never tire of this sight.”
I smile at him nervously as he gets into bed next to me, turning onto his side to look at me. His gaze carries an emotion I don’t dare name, for fear I’m misreading him. I hope he’ll always look at me this way, as though he can’t believe I’m here with him, as though I’m the most precious person to him.
Silas leans in and kisses me tenderly before pulling away. “Goodnight, baby.”
“Night,” I murmur.
Silas chuckles and pulls me closer, until he’s got his arms wrapped around me and my head on his chest. I smile as I listen to the rhythmic beating of his heart, feeling a sense of belonging I’ve never felt before. This, right here… this is where I belong, right in his arms.
Silas’s breathing deepens as he falls asleep, and I hold on to him tightly, enjoying every second of this experience. It’s a first for us, and I have a feeling I’ll always remember it.
Silas sighs, mumbling something, and I lean in closer, curious. “I love you,” he whispers. “Ray.”
I tense in his embrace, my heart clenching painfully. Ray? I pull away from him and sit up, my stomach dropping. It’s me he’s got in his bed, but subconsciously, it’s someone else he wants. Ray… that’s the same person Ryan was talking about.
I stare at Silas, my heart breaking. I’m falling so hard and fast, but he won’t be there to break my fall. If I keep going this way, I’ll find my broken remains lying at his feet, and I have no doubt I’ll have a smile on my face as I destroy myself over him.
Chapter Sixty-Three
Alanna
“Alanna!” Silas shouts, and I jump up from my seat as I rush toward his office, worried I messed something up. Now, even more so than usual, I really don’t want to let him down. I’m worried he’ll think us being together is impacting my work, and I can’t let that happen.
“Silas?” I close the door behind me and walk up to his desk, mentally running through everything I’m working on.
“Come, take a look at this.”
I nod and walk around his desk to look at his screen, frowning when I see the post-mortem of a cyber attack we circumvented. “That was close,” I recall.
Silas sighs and leans back in his chair. “I want to see how you’d go about it if you were to replicate this. I’m having a hard time finding the remaining vulnerabilities in the system.”
I nod and lean over him to reach for his keyboard, feeling oddly nervous around him in a way I never did before.
“Hey,” Silas murmurs, the tips of his fingers running down my spine soothingly. “What’s wrong?”
I look at him, caught off guard. How did he know? I shake my head and look back at the screen. “It’s nothing.” How am I supposed to tell him that I want to know about Ray? Would he think I’m crazy if I tell him I’m worried? That I’m feeling insecure?
“Tell me the truth,” Silas orders, his tone rough.
I glance back at him and bite down on my lip. “You and I…” I shake my head, unsure how to even ask this without seeming childish.
“You and I,” he repeats, “were inevitable.”
Inevitable. That’s exactly how I felt too. I look at him with wide eyes, and he smirks as he pulls me closer. I tumble onto his lap, and Silas grins as he cups my neck, his lips finding mine. He kisses me slowly, leisurely, without any regard for time or place. The way he groans as his lips move against mine, as though he’s been dying for a taste, and I just gave him an excuse to cave… I can’t get enough of it.
A soft pleading moan escapes my lips when he pulls away, and Silas drops his forehead to mine with a smile on his face, his eyes still closed. “Does that answer the question you can’t voice, baby?”
I nod, relief rushing through me as the edges of my lips tip up into a smile.
“You’re mine, Alanna. You’ve always been mine, and you always will be. Nothing and no one will ever change that. It doesn’t matter what the world might say about us. All that matters is that we’re happy together, okay?”
I look into his eyes, wondering if he truly means that. If he’s truly happy with me, why is he proclaiming his love for Ray in his sleep while he’s holding me in his arms? Who is she? Why does she have such a hold over him? Even Ryan seems to know about this mystery girl.