“Good morning,” Silas says.
“Morning, boss,” Josh replies weakly.
I can’t even look him in the eye as shame floods me. In the comfort of our home, it was easy to pretend that our happiness wasn’t tainted. It was easy to ignore the world around us and the people that’d never understand.
Josh brushes past us looking distraught, and I move to follow him before hesitating, unsure what I’d even say.
“It’s fine, baby,” Silas says. “They’d find out at some point, anyway. This might not be ideal, but it was unavoidable.”
I glance back at him, unsure how to respond or how to even feel. Somehow, I thought he and I could always exist in our little bubble, where our happiness was protected from those that would condemn us, but he’s right. This was inevitable.
“Come on,” he murmurs. “Let’s go face the music. Josh won’t keep quiet for long.”
He holds his hand out for me, and I hesitate for a moment. Silas smiles at me and nods reassuringly. “Together,” he murmurs, “Per aspera ad astra.” Through difficulties to the stars.
I take his hand, and he entwines our fingers as we walk toward the elevator. I’m so nervous that I feel sick, but Silas’s hand in mine grounds me. A small part of me had been waiting for this moment, hoping for it even. When I started folding those cranes, I knew I wanted him forever. I knew I wanted to remove every memory of Ray from his mind. I knew what I was signing up for.
He looks into my eyes as we reach our floor, and I nod. I’m not sure what we’re about to face, but I know it won’t be support or understanding. They’ll judge me harder than they will Silas, and the rumors will be endless.
“What’s wrong with you?” I hear Jessica ask Josh as we round the corner.
Silas squeezes my hand and clears his throat. “He saw me kissing Alanna, but he’s wondering whether or not he can tell you about it.”
Jessica rises from her seat, her eyes wide with disbelief. “What?”
Josh nods and looks away, as though he can’t stand to look at us.
“But you two… Alanna… you were dating Ryan, weren’t you?” she asks.
I swallow hard and force myself to look into her eyes. “It’s true that Ryan and I were dating some time ago, but we broke up before I started at Sinclair Security. Silas and I… we didn’t plan this. Neither of us expected to fall for the other, but we did. It wasn’t our intention to hide it from you, but we weren’t sure you’d understand.”
“I don’t. I don’t understand.” She walks past us, and I move to follow her before thinking better of it. She put her faith in me when everyone accused me of entering the ψ division through Ryan, enduring ridicule from other colleagues because she stood by me, and in a sense, she must feel betrayed, and I don’t know how to make it better.
“Leave her be,” Silas says. “Give it a little bit of time.”
I nod, and Silas raises our joined hands to his lips, kissing the back of my hand gently before he lets go and walks to his office. I’m tense as I sit down at my desk and pretend not to see the disgusted and shocked looks that are being thrown my way now that Silas is out of sight. It isn’t just my own team members that are judging us, it’s the other executive employees that are on this floor, too.
Josh swivels his chair toward me and crosses his arms. “So I guess you went after Silas once you realized that everything Ryan owns was actually borrowed from his brother. I was right about you, after all. You got in through nepotism, and you’re a gold digger. I don’t care if Silas fires me over this, either. You fucking disgust me.”
I reel back and steel myself, his words piercing straight through my heart. I knew people wouldn’t understand, but I didn’t realize how much it’d hurt. “It wasn’t like that at all. I have no ulterior motives when it comes to Silas, I swear.”
He grits his teeth and stares me down. “Does Ryan even know you’re fucking his brother? Or are you leading them both on?”
Ryan. It’s only a matter of time before he finds out, and I’m not sure how he’ll react. It’s one thing for me to deal with the consequences of my actions, but will this destroy the relationship that Silas and Ryan only just rebuilt? And if it does, will Silas forgive me?
Chapter Sixty-Six
Alanna
“Tell me it isn’t true.”
I look into Ryan’s eyes, his expression tearing straight through my heart. I’m a coward, because I’ve been avoiding him for as long as I could, using Silas’s private elevator whenever I get to work, eating at my desk so he can’t intercept me outside and going straight home the moment I finish work. I knew I’d have to face him someday, but I’ve been delaying this moment for as long as I could. I should’ve known he’d figure out that the garage is the easiest place to intercept me.