I fall silent, surprised he realizes anything is wrong at all. “How did you know?” I ask, my voice soft.
“Alanna,” he murmurs. “I just do. Tell me.”
“My mind is a scary place, Si. You have no idea what you’re asking for.”
He chuckles, and I grin, imagining what he must look like with that smile on his face. “Shock me, Alanna.”
I turn to my side and stare at the wall for a moment. “There’s a lot on my mind, Si. I think my father’s company might be in trouble. Dad is always working, and I miss him. I hate being home alone all the time. I hate that I don’t have any friends, and I blame Caleb for it. But then I also blame myself for being such a bitch to him. Maybe if I hadn’t rejected him the way I did, school wouldn’t have gotten as bad as it is now. No one talks to me. My entire life is just homework, studying, volunteering at the shelter, and spending my evenings eating dinner by myself.”
“Sweetheart,” Silas says, and my heart starts to race. Every once in a while, he’ll call me sweetheart or baby, and I doubt he even realizes it. “That’s a lot you’re carrying. Do you want my advice, or do you want to vent?”
I hesitate for a moment, surprised he’s even giving me those two options. “I think I want your advice,” I whisper.
“Tell your dad that you miss him, Alanna. I buried my dad on the day we met, and if I could go back in time, I’d make sure I spend more time with him, even if it means hanging out at his office with him. You could do your homework at his office, right? I’m sure you can think of some ways to spend more time around him without him feeling like his work would suffer for it. If his company truly is in trouble, he can’t take time off right now, but you can silently support him by being around him. Do you think that might work?”
I nod to myself. “To be honest, that hadn’t actually occurred to me before. It’s a good idea. Back in the day, Dad never wanted me around, because there were so many construction guys, and the sites he used to work on weren’t that safe, but these days Dad has his own office, so I think it’d be fine.”
“As for Caleb,” he says. “I honestly don’t know what to say. I truly thought he’d get over it, you know? I guess he really likes you.”
I bite down on my lip nervously. “About that…”
“What?” he says, his tone rougher. “Don’t tell me you actually went on a date with him?”
Something about his tone has my heart beating a little faster. I know he isn’t jealous, but this is exactly how I imagine he’d sound if he were. “No, of course not. Three weeks ago, I spray painted a message onto his car, and I’m pretty sure he knows it was me. It kind of took our feud to a different level.”
“What did you do?”
“I used a can of graffiti to spray-paint My Owner is a Prime Example of Fragile Masculinity all over the hood of his car. In pink.”
Silas bursts out laughing, and the sound of it makes me smile too. “Alanna, you beautiful soul. Every time I talk to you, I’m reminded that someday, you’re going to drive one lucky man completely crazy in the very best way. Caleb hasn’t been able to pin it on you, has he?”
I shake my head, even though he can’t see me. “No, of course not. I found out where he lives and went to his house at night. No one saw me, and he can’t pin it on me at all. I guess that’s why he’s so mad, but it’s fine. It accomplished what I wanted it to. He’s stopped pursuing me.”
“Good,” Silas says, his voice low and… possessive. Every once in a while, I wonder if he might like me a little too, but then I remind myself that he wouldn’t be going out of his way to avoid me at the shelter if he did.
“Anyway,” I murmur. “How are you? I haven’t spoken to you in so long.”
“I’m fine, sweet girl. Ricardo has officially hired me to become a part-time house manager. He wants to retire soon, and he’s giving me the job until I graduate in two years. He’s made it clear that he expects me to find a well-paying corporate job then, but in the meantime, this is a good gig. It’ll give them time to find the perfect long-term candidate too.”
“What will the job entail?” I ask, curious. I’ve never really asked Ricardo what his exact job is, because he seems to do everything. Surely Silas doesn’t have time to be studying at Astor College and do Ricardo’s job on top of it?
“It’s mostly monitoring and implementing house rules, screening everyone’s belongings when they come in, conducting facility searches for drugs and weapons, keeping track of different kinds of inventory, and a whole lot of admin work. It’s a lot of stuff that I’m already doing anyway, except they’ll pay me for it now, and I’ll get my own bedroom with its own shower, so I won’t have to sleep in the big hall anymore. I’m never going to spend another night in any of those bunk beds. Not ever again.”