“What?” she asks, her voice breaking. “This… what… it can’t—”
She pulls out of my embrace and rushes into her father’s room. My heart breaks as I follow her in, knowing what I’ll find. “Please,” she begs, her voice breaking.
I watch as she shakes his arm, but it’s too late. He’s gone. I walk up to her and wrap my arm around her waist, offering her silent support as she continues to plead with her father, her tone getting more and more frantic as realization dawns.
“Silas, please,” she pleads, her breathing weighed down by the sobs she’s trying to restrain. She looks at me, and the desperation in her eyes destroys me. “Please wake him up. Please.”
I pull her into me, hugging her tightly, one hand in her hair, and the other around her waist. She struggles in my embrace for a moment, and then she collapses against me, loud sobs tearing through her throat as she falls apart in my arms.
The two of us stand there together, clinging to each other. I’ve never felt more powerless than I do tonight. Her heart is breaking, and there’s nothing I can do.
Chapter Fourteen
Alanna
I stare at my parents’ tombstones as my phone rings non-stop. I know that it’s probably Silas calling me, but I don’t have it in me to pick up the phone. The more he speaks to me, the more concerned he gets, and I really don’t want him to worry about me. I sink down to the floor opposite my father’s grave and cross my ankles, unsure where else to go.
The last two weeks have been a blur, and I feel like I’ve just been going through the motions, following Dad’s will. He had plans for every single thing that needed to happen in the event of his death, and all that was left for me to do was execute them. He’d even already contracted the same funeral home that handled Mom’s funeral to ensure they had his wishes on record. There wasn’t much for me to do at all. Part of me is grateful for it, but a small part of me also feels like it robbed me of doing one final thing for my father.
“I miss you,” I whisper. “The police are still trying to find the man that shot you, but I haven’t heard much at all. I feel like I won’t be able to rest easy until that man is caught and brought to justice. Was the money he stole from you really worth a life? I know I shouldn’t, but I hope he has a family that’ll miss him when he’s put in jail, so he’ll feel at least a fraction of the pain I’m feeling.”
I let my eyes fall closed, my face tipped up toward the sky. I watch the clouds move past me, a reminder that the world keeps turning despite the loss that upturned my entire life. “I lost the company,” I whisper, as though I’m scared to even admit it. “The company was declared bankrupt when you died, and there’s nothing I could do about it. Everything you’ve worked for… I wasn’t able to hold on to it. The only thing I’ve been able to do that’d make you proud was paying all your employees their outstanding wages. That, and thanks to that life insurance policy you always insisted you should have, I’ve been able to pay back the loans you took out with the house as collateral, so I haven’t lost our home… but that’s all I’ve really got, Dad. I had no idea just how much debt you were in, but I’ve paid back everything that I became liable for. You’ll be happy to know that the majority of your debt disappeared when you did. It was tied to you, and I didn’t inherit it. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. To be honest, Dad… I don’t know anything at all. I’m lost without you. I’m trying my hardest to figure out what I should be doing, but it’s all so overwhelming. I’m not ready to be an adult. I’m not ready to live a life you aren’t part of.”
I draw my knees up to my chest and drop my head down, inhaling shakily. “Can’t you please come back to me? Please, Dad. You promised me you’d make up for all the lost time, but you haven’t. You left me. I’m glad you’re with Mom now, but I need you.”
I stare at the tombstones, both of my parents side by side. I wish I could hear my father’s voice just one more time. I can barely remember Mom’s voice, and I’m scared Dad is going to become a memory I struggle to recall.
A slight drizzle falls from the sky, and I look up at the clouds above me. Would it matter if I just stay here and let the skies drown me? Would it numb the pain?
I bite down on my lip harshly as I force myself to my feet. I know this isn’t what Dad would have wanted for me, and I can’t lose myself in my pain. I’m not sure how, but one way or another, I need to find a way to keep going.