I turn away and place one foot in front of the other, forcing myself forward, one step at a time. I’ve got nowhere to go, no one who will take me in. The only place I can think to go is the one place my father never would’ve wanted me to go to — not in these circumstances. This is exactly what he tried to prevent, yet it’s his good intentions that are leading me there.
After what feels like hours, I find myself looking up at the shelter, my heart breaking in a different way as I push the door open.
Ricardo rises from his cubicle by the entrance, his eyes wide. “Alanna! We’ve all been so worried about you. What’s going on? Where have you been?”
I look at him, a small part of me wanting to cling to the pride I no longer have a right to. “Ricardo,” I whisper, my voice hoarse from the tears that haven’t stopped falling since I lost my father. “I need a place to stay. Please, will you take me in?”
Chapter Sixteen
Silas
I stare at my phone, watching it ring, knowing she won’t pick up the phone. Alanna has been declining my calls for weeks now, and I’m worried. I’ve walked all over town, going to every single place she could possibly be, yet I can’t find her. I even went to her school, only to be told that they let her take a few weeks off on compassionate grounds.
I look up at the sound of knocking on my door and end the call with a sigh. “Come in,” I shout, knowing it can only be Ricardo.
He opens the door, his expression grave as he leans in the doorway. “Silas. She’s here.”
I jump up from my bed, my eyes widening. “Alanna?”
He nods. “She asked me for a place to stay, so I pointed her toward the sleeping hall. She was distraught, to say the least, and the backpack she’s carrying seems to be all she’s got. I don’t know what happened, but it doesn’t look good.”
I nod and run a hand through my hair. “She can’t stay in the sleeping hall. It isn’t safe for her. She isn’t used to this, and she…” She’s too beautiful. I’m worried about her safety.
Ricardo nods. “I know, but there’s nowhere else for her to stay. I’ve already broken the rules by not making her fill out all the required paperwork tonight, and I didn’t even check her bag. I can’t break even more rules.”
He looks down for a moment before looking back at me, his gaze meaningful as he glances past me, at my bed. My bedroom is mine, no strings attached. There is no rule against me bringing someone back here, so there should be no problem with me letting Alanna have my bed. The words he can’t say are registering loud and clear.
I nod at him, and he breathes a sigh of relief as he nods back at me. Ricardo lets the door fall closed as he walks away, and I stare at it for a moment. Part of me is scared to go find her. For Alanna to have come here for shelter means she must have been through hell and back in the last couple of weeks. She knows how rough the living conditions are here. She wouldn’t be here if she had any other choice, and I know how prideful she is. It's possible she won't want to see me tonight.
I inhale shakily and walk toward the door resolutely. I won’t risk her getting hurt or being robbed in her sleep, simply to save her pride.
My heart races as I walk to the sleeping hall I spent every night in for two years. I’ve purposely never entered this room at night since I got a bedroom of my own. Escaping this place was one of the hardest things I’ve done, yet here I am, walking back in here willingly. For her.
I spot her almost immediately. Even in her darkest hour, she shines brightly. I watch her for a moment, taking in the despair in her eyes, the way she stares at the bunk bed in front of her in disbelief. She looks so broken, so unlike the girl I’ve fallen in love with, yet there is still so much strength in her posture. She’s beautiful, perhaps even more so now than before.
I watch as one of the men hops off his bed and approaches her, his expression spelling trouble. Alanna tenses, and a rush of pure venom rushes through me as I walk toward her. He leers at her, and I lock my jaw.
“Alanna,” I snap, my tone harsher than I intended. She turns to face me, her eyes filled with regret, as though she wishes she could have avoided me tonight. She can barely meet my eyes, her lashes hiding those brilliant hazel irises of hers before I’ve truly had a chance to take them in.
I pause in front of her and lift my index finger to her chin, tipping her face up toward mine. Her lashes rise slowly, reluctantly, her gaze filled with defiance. Even with those dark circles underneath her eyes and the defeat she’s coated in, she takes my breath away.