I’m not sure I agree with him. It’s a testament to how much has shifted between us that I answer him without second-guessing myself. “I can barely control the power I have now. If it gets stronger… I don’t think I can handle anything else.”
He brushes a hand over my forehead, moving the silver strands away from my face. “We’ll see what happens when you wake up again and face whatever it is together. You’re not leaving here for the time being anyway, not until we’re sure it’s safe again. We can keep your contact with people outside of our Bond to a minimum. We can do this, Oleander.”
He sounds so sure of that, so sure of me, and I want to believe him. I want to, but I’m not sure how yet. Baby steps, I guess.
What will the others think about us Bonding? Especially if I say that I’m still not comfortable Bonding with anyone else… at least not right now.
Once again, I find myself in a mess of my own making.
I should just pass the hell out and lose the next three days like I know I’m going to, but I feel wired after the Bonding. I roll onto my side to face him and grin when his eyes track my every movement even in the dark safety of his room. “I feel like I need another shower after that.”
He stretches one hand up behind his head, his chest flexing deliciously like a private seduction. “Anything you want, Bonded. You should enjoy having me at your disposal while it lasts.”
I don’t want to think about the real world, all of the death and horror that we’re going to have to deal with when we leave here, so I keep it light. “You really want to lug me around all over again? Because my legs are out of action and not because of the healing.”
He smirks at me and scoops me up without another word.
Chapter Eleven
Atlas
Staring at the same four walls for days on end is enough to drive me insane, especially in a room as barren and poorly designed as the sedate spare room the Dravens shoved me in when I arrived here. There’s too much blue, terrible fucking shades of it, and the bed is uncomfortable as shit. If I manage to fix things with Oli, I’ll be buying a new mattress.
I don’t want to think about what I’ll be doing if I can’t fix it.
There’s nothing to do in here except stare at walls, do homework for classes I’m repeating anyway, or jerking off at the thought of the perfect Bond I’ve managed to alienate, even though I tried everything to avoid it.
It might be wrong, but I go with jerking off.
There’s two ways we could look at this; either I’m a creep for doing it while thinking about a girl who probably thinks I betrayed her in the worst fucking way, or I’m a devoted Bond who couldn’t even get it up for anyone else at this point. Both of those things are true. I’m done trying to make sense of this.
I feel her the moment she pops into my head.
How can you feel an out-of-body experience when it’s not happening to you? Fuck knows, but one minute I’m lying there with my dick in my hand by myself, and the next I can sense Oli’s shock and confusion about where the hell she is and what she’s seeing. It’s as though I’ve summoned her here with the sheer force of my longing for her.
The spike of lust that comes from her is a great ego boost, not that I needed any help.
How the hell did I end up here?
I grin, hoping she can feel that I’m doing it even if she can’t see it. I’d guess you got a little power bump, Sweetness. But however it happened, I’m glad you’re here.
There’s a throb of longing there in my chest, a sign she’s been missing me just as bad as I’ve missed her, and it makes me angry.
If you need me, I’ll break down this door to come find you. I’ve been toeing the line because I didn’t want to start an argument and put you in the middle of it but, baby, if you need me, I’m coming to find you.
She glows inside my chest, preening about my need to be with her, and sends back, It’s okay. I’ve mostly been sleeping. I’ll come find you when I’m awake properly again… if I can get back out of your head, that is.
The grin turns into a smirk. Well, while you’re here, I guess I better finish what I started, Sweetness.
She sends through a feeling of fake outrage that has me roaring with laughter like a crazy man, but then she moves my hand, stroking my dick for me, and the mechanics of it don’t mean a fucking thing. I don’t care that it’s my hand, I nearly blow my load knowing she’s a part of this.
Don’t you dare make me come so fast and shame me, Sweetness.