Her answering giggle is fucking perfection, and I want to lock the memory of it down forever.
I don’t like to be kept waiting, Bond. If you want to show me how good you can be, then get a move on.
Who thought having a wank could be this erotic, but the emotions and little threads of lust she sends to me only stoke the fire as my fist slides up and down my cock. I can feel her testing me, checking what I’m doing and how I’m moving, like she’s taking notes for later. Fuck, I hope she is. I need her to come find me and take over because this might be the best fucking experience of my life, but having the real deal here?
I’d take that over this a million times over.
I hold out for long enough that she’s not going to have doubts about my stamina and not a second longer, her presence watching as I spill out all over my fist, grunting and trying to hold back a roar that would have Gabe banging on the wall.
It’s the best fucking orgasm of my life, a small taste of what I’ll have if I ever get to have my Bond.
The moment the lust clears, I can feel her hesitance and awkwardness creep in. She’s here, in the possible traitor's head, while no one else in the house knows it.
I leap to reassure her.
You can see everything here. Whatever you need to believe me, take it.
She hesitates and my heart breaks a little. I don’t blame her. I don’t blame her for a fucking thing, but I’m so fucking desperate for her to believe me that the chance that she doesn’t want to look into my memories breaks me.
I try again, trying to keep the desperation out of my tone. There is nothing in my life that I want to keep from you. There’s a lot of ugly, a lot of bad shit, and shit I’m ashamed of. But I would never hide it from you, not even if I thought you might think less of me. I’d rather you hate those parts of me and never doubt what I’m saying, than for us to live with this thing between us. Not having you and your trust isn’t an option for me, Bond. It’s not an option.
She grows even more quiet in my chest, and I leave her alone. I can’t push her, no matter how much I want to, because if she doesn’t come to the decision herself, then what’s the fucking point of it?
I grab a towel off of the ground next to the bed and wipe myself down. I get up and walk into the bathroom, avoiding the mirrors because I don’t really feel like staring into my father’s face right now. He’s the entire fucking reason I’m in this mess, and the fact that I could be his slightly-younger-looking twin grates on me.
Oli stays quiet through the entire shower, her mind just sitting with me while I get myself clean. After I’m dried and back in a pair of clean boxers, I put a movie on, something mindless that I’ve seen a thousand times, and climb back into bed.
Once I’m settled, it’s clear that Oli has something she wants to say, but she stays quiet throughout the movie. I don’t want to fall asleep and miss out on her being here, but there’s something so comforting about her presence that the fatigue of countless shitty sleepless nights slowly creeps up on me.
Right before I pass out, she finally speaks.
I don’t want to look. I want you to tell me yourself. I want to hear it from you.
Chapter Twelve
Oli
The bed is too toasty warm to want to wake up, but I instantly know that I’ve made it back into my own body once again. I don’t want to open my eyes or exist today, every bone in my body aches, but there’s an oddly temperature-less weight against my back. It takes me a second to realize that Brutus is back in the bed with me.
Which means that North is both awake and no longer in here with me because last night he’d been very firm on the ’no puppies in the bed’ rule, no matter how hard I’d pushed it.
My senses are dulled thanks to how deep I was sleeping, but I know that some of my Bonds are here with me. I can’t tell which ones, which is frustrating, but I’ll take what I can get.
There’s a rustling sound next to me and then Gryphon murmurs into my ear, “Stop frowning, Bonded. It makes me want to murder something for you.”
I squint one eye open in his direction. “What time is it, and do you have food?”
He smirks, his eyes shining at me like I’m being so damn amusing. I hear more movement on the other side of the room, and then North starts ordering food from the kitchens. My stomach rumbles at the list of things he asks for.
I want those goddamn scrambled eggs and waffles, extra bacon, and some hash browns, fuck yes. And coffee, a whole jug of it, with extra whip and sugar.
I move to get up and then realize I went to sleep naked after North had fucked me in his shower. I squint around the room, and while I could totally handle being naked in front of both of my Bonded at the same time, Gabe is sitting in one of the ornate chairs with his phone in his hands, and Nox is arguing with North over building schematics at a desk that has suddenly appeared while I was out cold.