I’ll sort it out. Don’t worry about him, Bonded. Just focus on Bassinger for now. I want to know what he says to you, so come see me after.
When I get to Atlas’ door, I take a second to collect myself. It’s stupid. I was in his damn head yesterday, but it still feels like there’s something between us now. Something that’s changed him from the Bond I was closest to, could rely on without question, to now being someone with secrets and a very questionable past.
It also makes him more real to me.
Gabe wasn’t wrong, there was always something about Atlas that put me a little on edge. Something about how all in he was that was a little disconcerting. It just didn’t add up, but now that there’s a reason for it all, I feel like it makes sense. It’s still an issue, but I feel better about getting past it together.
Just as soon as I can knock on this door.
I lift my hand up right as it opens and Atlas drawls, “Do you need another minute, Bond, or do you wanna come in?”
I roll my eyes and step into him, scooting the puppies around him while I give my Bond a bone-crushing hug. Well, my bones feel crushed, but I’m sure his super strong and indestructible self is breathing just fine.
I tuck my face into his chest as he takes a step back, pulling me into his room with him and kicking the door shut behind us both. The puppies both sniff around in the space, though August stays within touching distance of me at all times. I know North promised not to spy on us both, but his creature is just as surly and overprotective as the Bonded, and I refuse to admit how endearing that is to me.
“I missed you so fucking much. I used to think sleeping separately four nights out of five was bad but, fuck, Sweetness. I can’t go that long without you again.”
I nod into his chest and rub my nose against the soft fabric of his shirt. He smells clean and warm and mine, which is my favorite combination, and when he tugs us both towards the bed to sit down together, I don’t fight him.
When we finally pull away from each other, I look around the room a bit and blush, which is stupid, but the last time I saw his bed, I was in his head with him, jerking that glorious dick of his off until he came all over his fist.
“Wanna go again, little Bond?” he drawls, and I duck my head.
“Don’t tempt me. It’s been—it’s a lot. All of this. It’s a lot to process and go through. I also don’t want to get stronger still, and everything is sort of messy.”
He pulls a face, reminded of exactly what I’m here for, and I nod my head with a sigh. “I came here to hear it all. To hear from you about your family and… how you’ve decided to not be a part of the Resistance with them.”
He swallows and nods, clearing his throat nervously. “I’ve been planning how I’d do this for months and now that it’s time to do it, I feel like I’m about to fuck it up. Please just… hear me out. It’s not all wonderful and virtuous. I’m a shitty human for big chunks of it, but I came home to you. That’s what counts, right?”
I refuse to nod, mostly because I can’t agree to it until I have the details.
“I grew up in Resistance propaganda. My family is pretty high up in the ranks. My dad is even close personal friends with Silas Davies.”
I nod. “I know. I saw him when I got to the camps with Kieran.”
He grimaces and nods. “He was always leaving to check in on various different camps and going through the Gifted who had been taken. He knew they were after you for years before Silas took you. There had been rumors about your gift, but your parents moved you around a lot to keep you hidden. They were smart but outmatched by Silas’ arsenal.”
This isn’t new to me.
Silas had told me all about this, about how I’m responsible in every way that counts for my parents' deaths. About how we moved constantly because I couldn’t stop using my gift or showing off my void eyes at the worst of times. I know it, but it still hurts that he knows it too.
I swallow and nod so he’ll continue, to get this story out faster, as though he’s ripping a band-aid off of my soul.
“When we were called about my blood flagging in the same Bond Group as the Dravens, there was an entire family meeting. My dad was cagey as hell about it and Aurelia’s Bonds all had opinions to throw into the mix, but my mom just got wasted. I’ve never seen her drink like that before, but she just downed glass after glass of wine as though it were water.”
He takes another breath, shifting on the bed and scratching at the back of his neck like he’s uncomfortable before he continues, “This is the part that I’m ashamed to tell you about, and the part I didn’t tell the others, because it’s none of their business. So, I found out right after that you’d gone missing. My dad made a fuss about it, but he was actually happy that I wouldn’t be coming here and being around the Dravens. I… thought the same as the rest of the Bonds, that you didn’t want us, and I acted like a fucking idiot. I went out with my friends a lot, drinking and partying, and I… slept around a lot. I thought I was getting back at you for leaving me behind before you’d even met me. I was a stupid, selfish dickhead.”