He nods back. “I don’t want you to regret it. I’d kill any of them for pushing you. But what did it do to your power? Did you have a surge or anything new pop up?”
I tilt my head to the side as I consider it. I’ve thought about it, of course I have, but the only answer I’ve come up with seems fake and like wishful thinking.
“I feel stronger. Not more powerful or anything, I just feel more sure of myself and what I can do.”
He nods and squeezes my hands. “I’m not just saying this because I want you. I do want you, nothing will ever change that, but after you and Gryphon Bonded, I’d been watching for some big change that never happened. Oli, have you ever considered that maybe your bond won’t grow in power because it’s already at full capacity?”
I frown and he scoots back on the bed, tugging me until I’m straddling his thighs. My bond purrs in my chest at having him this close again. The distance between us has been the hardest part of all of the changes we’ve been going through. He lets go of my hands only to span his palms over my hips, pulling me down into his core a little more. He’s hard underneath me, his dick reacting to having me this close to him, but he just continues on like this is all business as usual for him.
“You’re the strongest Soul Render in recorded history. I know, I spent a long time researching it. What if Bonding with us is just going to make your bond more settled and secure? You were tortured. You were so young when Silas got his hands on you, your bond came out to protect you. I think that has changed the way things are happening. That and… the color of your eyes. That isn’t Soul Render specific. The Dravens are the only other family I’ve found with black bond eyes. There’s something there that we’re missing too. I hope now that we’re all on the same page about things, that maybe we can figure it out. Together.”
He kisses me softly, slowly, but not pushing for more. “Just think about it, Sweetness. Just think about it, and we can talk more later. I’m not pushing you, but if you can think of anything that means I’m wrong, I want to know about it. This is all I care about right now, getting you settled and secure in your gift and your bond. You shouldn’t be running scared anymore. I won’t have it, Sweetness. I can’t stand the thought of how long you’ve been doing this by yourself.”
I nod and lean forward to press my face into his shoulder, something settling inside of me now that I’ve had my fill of them all. Nox is the only one I haven’t spent any time with, but my constant connection to him thanks to Brutus means it takes longer for the cravings to hit me when it comes to him.
“Everything is going to be okay.”
I scoff. “Why does everyone keep saying that to me?”
He chuckles at me and rubs a hand over my spine. “Because you’re going to worry about every little part of this. You care about us all, you miss your freedom, everything seems terrible. Of course we’re all going to try to reassure you, because it will get better.”
I quiet down and enjoy the safety of his arms for a little longer, our heartbeats syncing up because we were made for each other. Maybe—maybe someday I will be able to Bond with him. Maybe he’s right and we’ll get this forever, this safety and security and love.
Eventually, he moves me over into his bed properly. He helps me strip off the sweater I’m wearing, and the yoga pants because I prefer to sleep in my underwear or shorts, and then he stalks over to his own side of the bed, shedding clothes as he goes. He’s still hard, his dick not getting the ‘no Bonding’ memo at all, but after spending a morning in his head while he jerked off, it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me anymore.
I have more experience handling men and their desires now, so much so in such a small amount of time that my head is still spinning from it.
I curl up in his arms and let him fuss with our position until he’s happy with how we’re lying. August stays on the floor next to the bed, watching me carefully until it’s clear Atlas has fallen asleep, and then he lies down to sleep there. I know that he’s here for North’s peace of mind, but there’s still something comforting about having him with us and I let myself drift off to sleep.
God knows how much later, I wake up at the sound of the door, but August doesn’t move from where he’s curled up on the floor by my side of the bed. Of course not, it’s North coming in to check on us. When I lift my head, he steps over to give me a soft kiss, stroking my hair, as he pulls up another chair to sit in.