I wait until they all look happy enough with their meals before I very carefully say, “So what are the plans here, long term? I’m about ready to start tearing walls down if I’m holed up for much longer.”
Gryphon raises an eyebrow at me. “Training starts again at five a.m. tomorrow. Do you still need me to come get you, or can you make it to the gym on your own now?”
Oh, that’s definitely not what I was after.
Gabe roars with laughter at the horrified look on my face while I struggle to think of a good reason to get out of it.
If you’re healed enough to fuck North and I at once, then you can train, Gryphon says. Although I want to murder the asshole for saying it, I can acknowledge that at least he didn’t make it public.
The tiniest amount of brownie points to him.
Nothing that will strain her legs. Go easy on her.
My cheeks heat, because of course they’re both happy to run free in my head while I’m trying to eat my goddamned seafood.
“Why are you the exact shade of tomato soup right now, Bond?” Gabe murmurs, and I startle back into myself, looking around the table like a criminal who’s been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
“Gryphon has no table manners, and that’s all I’m saying. He’s dragging me to training. You’ll come too, right? Save me from his sadistic ways.”
Atlas’ hand is gentle on my thigh under the table, stroking reverently over the perfectly healed skin there. They all keep fussing with it. North wanting me to go easy on it makes no sense. I’ve healed up fully, so well that there’s no scar, but I also won’t argue about it. I don’t want to do squats and burpees.
Running is taking it easy though, right?
Totally.
Kieran looks at me over the table and shakes his head slowly. “She needs to see a Tac Psych. You should put off the training until she has.”
I poke a fork in his direction. “Shut your mouth, narc. I’m fine. I’ve healed, and there’s nothing I need to talk about.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me, the bastard, and says, “That man knew exactly where to cut you to get your bond out. You knew what was coming before he even opened the tool box. None of that comes without a lot of sessions. If your Bonds give a shit about you, they’ll get you in therapy.”
North looks over at me and I feel everyone’s eyes on my skin, but I talk directly to him because I already know that it’ll be him forcing me into it. “My bond is the one who deals with that shit. If you send me to therapy, it’ll have to be the one to talk. Do you really want to do that to some poor woman?”
Shit.
Don’t think about it being a woman, don’t go down that thought spiral again, Oli.
What thought spiral?
I roll my eyes at Gryphon. Are you ever going to get out of my head? Why am I even asking? Of course you won’t. The spiral about thinking of how many people you lot have all fucked.
He raises an eyebrow at me. Why would thinking about a psych do that to you? Why exactly are you so convinced that North has fucked every woman he comes across? And why don’t you feel the same way about the rest of us?
Stupid Bonds.
I turn away from him and back to Kieran. “I don’t need therapy. I need a nap and for everyone to leave my bond alone so it doesn’t go on another soul-eating binge again. That’s it. So just drop it.”
Sage meets my eye across the table and nibbles on her bottom lip a little, looking guilty.
“Don’t do this to me, Sage. Don’t throw me to the wolves like this. We’re supposed to have each other’s backs here!”
She scrunches her nose up with a smile and says, “I love my psych. Maybe you can see him?”
North cuts in before I can whine about my bestie's betrayal. “Who do you see? I’ll arrange for him to come here once he’s been through the security measures.”
Sage opens her mouth but I cut her off, snapping at North, “I definitely do not need another man in my life trawling through my head. I have enough of that shit happening right here!”
All of the other chatter at the table stops at my outburst, and one of the kitchen staff who was putting out extra plates scurries back into the kitchens as though she’s worried about what’s going to happen to me for being so rude.
I’m not.
Sort of. Okay, I’m sure there’s still plenty of shit that North will be more than willing to do to me as punishment for not just happily going along with his plans, but I draw the line here. I don’t want to speak to someone. I don’t want to pour my heart out to some stranger. I’m not ready for that sort of thing yet.