I was glad for the dark but it didn’t help with my rising anxiety.
My breathing got labored. Despite the lack of sound and bright light around me, this felt like one of my sensory overload attacks. Bear began growling and shifted. He always got particularly protective when I was like this.
“Shhh, down,” Nino said.
Bear let out another growl but then he became quiet. I reached out, feeling for his back and stroking his fur.
“Greta?” Nino asked into the dark.
I peered toward the doorway where his voice had come from.
My throat felt too tight for words.
“I’ll turn the lights on. Close your eyes. I’ll tell you when they’re dimmed down.”
I closed my eyes.
“It’s okay.”
I opened my eyes. A dim glow filled the studio. Bear was curled up beside me with Momo snuggled up against his butt. His eyes were fixed on Nino but he didn’t get up or growl again.
“Do you need help?”
I peered up at Nino, trying to consider my reply, but my pounding heart and rushing pulse were making any sane thought impossible.
“I’ll get your parents.”
“No,” I croaked.
Nino regarded me with quiet scrutiny. “Nevio?”
I shook my head, panicking.
Nino nodded, as if he understood my reasoning when he couldn’t possibly grasp the whole dimension of my dilemma. He walked over to me slowly and regarded me for a while before he sank down on my other side.
I breathed low and deep until I began to feel more in control, then I began talking in a bare whisper, “When is love wrong?”
Nino’s brows snapped together and his scrutiny intensified. “You’re referring to romantic love?”
I nodded.
Nino waited almost a minute before he finally spoke. I was glad he took his time to weigh his answer. Maybe he could tell how important it was for me. “Wrong and right are concepts designed by humankind over the centuries to allow peaceful co-existence. It’s not something that’s inherent in nature or in our DNA. If you refer to the moral compass that guides most societies, there are certain forms of love that are regarded as wrong. Though again love in itself isn’t wrong but how you act upon it.”
I frowned. That wasn’t helping.
Nino must have seen my confusion because he continued, “Unrequited love can be detrimental to a person’s mental and even physical health, so I’d say it’s a logically wrong love. Too much love can be a problem, like most extremes.”
“Love and logic don’t go together, do they?”
“Logic told me it was useful to love my wife so I did eventually.”
I laughed because I doubted that was how it happened. Kiara told a different story. Maybe Nino just preferred his more restrained take on things.
“Do you really think there can be too much of love?”
“If it makes you forget everything else that matters, then yes.”
That made sense. I could imagine losing myself in my feelings for Amo, at least for a little while, but I didn’t want to forget everything else that mattered to me.
“What if the person you love is already promised to someone else?”
“Infidelity is considered wrong by many. I think it’s often a sign that the original bond is damaged. And some people have open relationships, then it can’t really be called infidelity.”
“What if the person who’s promised doesn’t love the person they’re promised to but the other person.”
Nino narrowed his eyes in thought. My words didn’t even make sense to me. “It seems unwise to marry a person you don’t want instead of the person you want, but economic, political or familial reasons might be the driving force, especially in our world.”
I didn’t even know if Amo loved me. I didn’t even know if I loved him. “How do I know if I’m in love?”
Nino’s body became tauter. “I’m not the best person to ask.”
“I think you’re the best person I could ask.”
Nino gave a nod. “It’s not easy to put into words, even for me. I’m not an expert in this field.”
“You love Kiara, despite your emotional struggles.”
“I do.”
“How did you know?”
“Before Kiara there was calm and then suddenly there was chaos. It was frustrating at first but then I learned to enjoy it.”
I bit my lip. Amo quieted the chaos in my head. Maybe this, too, was a sign.
“Greta,” Nino said quietly, waiting until my gaze returned to his face. “I assume you’re talking about yourself?”