I didn抰 try to dwell on the part of me that hoped Clifford would break our bond at some point. That wouldn抰 reflect well on the Outfit. I put on my pajamas but was too restless for sleep so I snuck out of my room, hoping I wouldn抰 cross paths with Mom and Dad. Mom would definitely want to talk to me after my engagement. If today hadn抰 been as busy as it was, she probably would already have taken me aside for a talk. She wanted to make sure I was okay, and I wasn抰 sure I was in a state of mind to lie as convincingly as a conversation with Mom about Clifford required.
I hurried across the hall to Leonas抯 room. I knocked, then waited impatiently.
揥ho is it??
揑t抯 me,?I hissed, glancing up and down the hallway nervously. I could hear voices downstairs. Mom and Dad were probably still discussing the day抯 events.
揅ome in!?
I slipped in and closed the door.
Leonas perched on his windowsill, his legs dangling outside, a cigarette in his mouth. He threw a glance over his shoulder. He was still in his dress shirt and elegant pants but had dropped his tie and jacket on the floor.
揑f I were Dad, you抎 be in major trouble,?I said as I closed the door and walked toward him.
揇ad always knocks. You are the only one who doesn抰 knock.?He took another drag.
揑 did knock this time,?I muttered. Now that Leonas was getting older, I was protecting myself by knocking. I didn抰 want to catch him doing things I抎 never be able to erase from my mind.
I climbed onto the sill beside him, even if I wasn抰 too fond of the prospect of falling to my death.
揧ou aren抰 supposed to smoke,?I said with a smirk.
Leonas blew smoke into my face, making me cough. 揧ou really wanna play who抯 more in trouble with Dad??
揂s of now, I抦 not in trouble. I抳e been good as far as Dad knows.?I held out my hand. 揋ive me a cigarette.?
He fumbled for one in the pack balancing on his thigh then gave it to me with that annoying knowing smile. 揧eah, you抮e better at hiding your trouble-seeking ways.?
I shoved it into my mouth. 揟o be fair, you aren抰 even trying to play the good kid most days.?
Leonas shrugged. 揇ad抯 stricter with me anyway.?
揅omes with being a boy,?I said around the cigarette in my mouth.
揝antino hates when you smoke.?
揑 know, but he抯 not here now, is he,?I said. 揘ow shut up and give me fire.?
He lit up my cigarette. 揃itch.?
揂sshole.?I smiled sweetly, took a deep drag then coughed.
Leonas shook his head. 揧ou抮e just doing it to piss him off.?
揂nd you抮e doing half the shit you抮e up to, to piss Dad off.?I leaned my head on his shoulder. 揕et me have some fun.?I took another, even deeper pull, coughed even harder, and handed the cigarette to Leonas who put it in his mouth as well. He looked ridiculous with the two smokes in his mouth. Only the brainless groupies crushing on him would think his quirks were cool. 揧ou can have all the fun you want for all I care. Mom and Dad probably won抰 see it that way though.?
揑 won抰 tell if you don抰 tell.?
揥orks for me, sis.?
I grinned then took another drag. I never really liked smoking. Leonas was right, in the beginning, I did it to piss Santino off. Now it抯 become a stupid habit whenever I抦 anxious.
揧ou realize Dad will hunt Santino down if he finds out there抯 something going on between you.?
揝hut up. What are you talking about? There抯 nothing going on between us.?
揝ure. I抣l ask you again in a few months.?
揝tay out of my love life.?
揧ou don抰 have one.?
I glared. 揥ell, I have every intention of changing that.?
揋ood luck with that.?
I cocked an eyebrow. 揂s my brother, you should tell me to stay away from men. You抮e not doing a good job being the overprotective Made Man.?
揑抣l protect you from real dangers, don抰 worry, but I sure as fuck won抰 protect your hymen, sis.?
I grimaced. 揇o me a favor and never say that word again.?
揑抦 having fun, so why shouldn抰 you? Clifford isn抰 waiting for marriage either.?
揧ou know most people in the Outfit won抰 see it that way. If they find out, I lost it to anyone but my husband there抣l be a scandal.?
揑抣l make sure to cause an even bigger scandal to distract them from you.?
I laughed. 揑抦 sure you抎 succeed.?
The following weeks and months passed in a blink, and before I knew it, I抎 attended my last two social events in January, Dad抯 and Danilo抯 birthdays. Wistfulness caught me by surprise when I closed my suitcase one day before I抎 leave for Paris. This was it. Tomorrow I抎 leave Chicago and my family behind for months, possibly years. If all went to plan, I抎 be gone for three years.
My stomach flipped with nerves.