Olivia sniffed hard and scrubbed the side of her hand under her eyes. “I didn’t know that. How was I supposed to know you were fine? I saw you careen down a hill, collide with a barrier, and collapse. My mind went to the worst places, but can you blame me?”
Margot hugged the pillow tighter, chest panging with remorse, a sharp stab between her ribs that stole her breath for a split second. She hadn’t meant to make Olivia worry, to give her any cause for concern. Hurting Olivia was the last thing she wanted, right up there with losing her.
Collapse might’ve been a bit of an overstatement, but what had Margot told Elle this morning in the gift shop? Not to underestimate Margot’s ability to catastrophize? Margot could definitely relate, imagining the worst possible scenarios, watching them play out inside her head.
Contradictory to the ache in her chest, her stomach fluttered. The timing was completely terrible, but the proof that Olivia cared about her enough to get choked up made Margot hope that maybe all of her worst-case scenarios were as far-fetched as Elle had guaranteed they’d be. The way Olivia had kissed her at the base of the slope, trembling hands cradling her face, was the first sign. This was the second. Now all Margot needed was confirmation.
“I’m sorry, Liv. I didn’t anticipate crashing. Who would? You can’t see something like that coming.” She swallowed hard, the analogy hitting a little close to home, making her pulse flutter wildly inside her veins, nerves turning her stomach queasy. “You and Luke made it look so easy, and I was doing great on the bunny slope.” When Olivia’s brows rose, her expression calling bullshit, Margot amended, “I was doing okay on the bunny slope. I figured I knew how to stop at least.” But it was different, stopping after gaining that much speed. “I just . . .”
Saw Luke with his hands all over Olivia, watched her put her number in his phone at the top of the taller slope, saw red, didn’t think. Naturally, Margot was a competitive person. At the time, it had made perfect sense to push herself a little harder, put the skills—she was being generous, in hindsight—she’d acquired to the test. Prove that she could be every bit as athletic as Luke, as desirable as Luke. She wasn’t proud of it, but that’s where her brain had been at, what had driven her to ride that people mover to the taller slope before she was ready.
Olivia crossed her arms, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Aside from that small show of impatience, Olivia seemed content to wait Margot out.
Here went nothing.
“I was jealous, okay?” Margot clutched the pillow tighter. “I was jealous, and it’s stupid. I’m not proud of it. The opposite. I mean . . . hell, Liv. You think I like feeling this way? Because I don’t. I hate it.” She swallowed before her voice could crack. “Luke keeps flirting with you, and I thought I could handle it, but then I saw you give him your number—I mean, I think that’s what you were doing?—and I just . . . I didn’t think.”
She’d acted on impulse.
“So what?” Olivia crossed her arms, teeth scraping her lip, abusing it further. “You’re upset because someone else wants me?”
“No.” Her heart stuttered, her stomach dropping. “That’s not it at all. I’m halfway convinced the whole world wants you, Liv. You have no idea, the—the appeal you have. I don’t want you because Luke wants you. I want you because I . . .” Fuck. Margot took a deep breath in, air shuddering between her lips. “I’ve always wanted you. I have feelings for you, okay? I care about you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. No one gets me the way you get me. I’ve never felt like I’d die if I didn’t touch someone. You make me feel that way.” Margot’s jaw clenched and slid forward in a bid to keep her tears at bay. “This isn’t new. This isn’t because of Luke. It just—it just is. It’s how I feel.”
Olivia crossed her arms and scoffed. “You’re ridiculous. Do you realize that?”
Fuck. She’d known this would happen. Knowing didn’t dull the ache in her chest. Her pulse pounded painfully in her throat, the ache worsening when she swallowed. “I’m sorry, okay? I can’t help the way I feel about you. If you think I’m so ridiculous—”
“Shut up.” Olivia laughed and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. “You are the most infuriating person I’ve ever known, Margot.”
Margot hunched over her pillow, breath coming too fast. She sniffed hard, eyes burning and vision blurring. Fuck. “Got to admit, not the superlative I was aiming for. Best at delivering a witty repartee or greatest at giving head, but most infuriating. Whew.”