Jake slams the door and comes over, kneeling down in Kaleb’s place and unwrapping the bandage to take a look. His cheeks and nose are wind-burnt, and the scruff on his jaw is a little darker than the hair on his head.
“A fire started in the middle of the night,” I tell him. “Thank goodness we woke up. We were able to extinguish it, but I got roughed up when I tried to get Shawnee out of the barn. It wasn’t the boys’ fault.”
He tosses the bandage and inspects the stitches. “Jesus Christ,” he bites out. “Goddamn them.”
“They didn’t do this,” I say. “They took care of it, though.”
He shakes his head, continuing to look at the wound. Rising up, he grabs a washcloth off the shelf and wets it, while also taking the petroleum jelly out of the medicine cabinet.
I look up at him, worry coiling its way through my stomach. “You’re back early.”
If he’d showed up ten minutes ago, he would’ve found me in Kaleb’s bed.
If he’d come back last night, he…
It’s not something I planned on hiding from him, but I don’t want him thinking we reveled in his absence either or that this was planned.
“I got turned around,” he tells me, setting the items down and spilling a couple ibuprofen into his palm and handing them to me. “The snow was just too deep and the wind too strong. I wasn’t going to make it another night out there.”
He comes down, dropping to one knee, and cleans around the stitches, adding some petroleum jelly as I swallow the pills.
I stare at him, his lips a foot away as he dresses my wound. “Something else happened last night,” I whisper.
He slows for a moment but then continues, not looking at me.
“After the fire…” I go on. “With the boys.”
I don’t blink and neither does he as he avoids my gaze. My stomach churns.
“I…”
“Both of them?” he asks, looking down to pick up some gauze he dropped on the floor.
“I…um…”
I can’t say it, though, and he doesn’t make me.
His lips tighten as he wraps my arm. “Were they good to you?”
My eyes water, and I nod. He’s not yelling. I’m not sure if I’m hurt that he’s not jealous, or thankful he’s not disgusted with me.
But he is jealous. His hard expression and clipped words tell me that.
I open my mouth to explain. I love him, but I…
I don’t know.
I drop my head. I have no idea how to explain any of this. Or what I feel with them.
It just never feels wrong. That’s all I know.
It’s felt wrong before. Not here, though. Not with them.
“I—”
“Did you finish those college applications yet?” he asks, cutting me off.
I blink, falling silent.
Huh?
College applications…
So that’s it? He’s not going to make this harder?
I search for my words, taking the easy way out he’s giving me. “What, are you trying to get rid of me?” I tease.
“Well, you’re no use as a cook anymore with one arm.”
I chuckle, relief washing over me as I shake my head.
And then I dive in, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. He freezes for a moment but then relaxes, embracing me back as he pulls us to our feet.
Thank you.
“You okay now?” He pulls his head up and looks down at me. “Or do you need help with the shower?”
He gestures to the running shower, now hot and filling the bathroom with steam.
“I’m okay.”
I can wash my hair with one hand, I guess.
I scratch my head, overwhelmed. I have no idea what happens with the three of them when I leave this bathroom.
But nothing has to happen unless I want it to. There’s always that.
It can all end now.
I strip off my shirt, and he takes my hand, holding me steady as he helps me in to the shower. I go to pull the curtain closed, but I meet his eyes, and I can see the look there as he stares back. The one where he’s thinking of climbing in with me.
But as I watch the temptation play across his eyes, I finally watch as he just sighs, shakes his head, and rolls his eyes, yanking the curtain closed between us.
In a moment, the bathroom door opens and slams shut again, and I smile to myself. Thank goodness he made that easy.
One thing is for certain, though. Too much of a good thing is dangerous.
I’m sleeping alone tonight.
“Move the horses into the paddock and start clearing the debris.”