“Sorry,” Becky said. “What dog? Which fight?”
“Rule Number Two. No drinking or drugs at a Crossroads activity.”
“Oh.”
“I probably shouldn’t have told you that. It could bias your answer.”
“I don’t know if you smelled it, coming in,” Kim said, “but the alumni are all totally lighting up in the parking lot. Like they’d do for any public concert. Which is what this is.”
“It’s a gathering at the church,” David said. “To raise funds for the group. I rest my case.”
“Gosh, guys.” Becky was happy to be trusted as their arbiter. “I guess I’m kind of with David here.”
“Oh, come on,” Kim said. “It’s Friday night.”
“Thursday night,” David corrected.
“I’m just giving you my opinion,” Becky said.
“Okay, but here’s another question. What if we did some partaking earlier, in the afternoon, not on church property, and we’re still the tiniest bit high when we show up here. Is that against the rules?”
“You’re on a slippery slope,” David said.
“Let Becky answer.”
“I guess it depends,” Becky said, “on what the purpose of the rule is.”
“The purpose of the rule,” David said, “is to not have parents pissed off with Crossroads.”
“I disagree,” Kim said. “I think it’s that you can’t have an authentic witnessing relationship if one of the people is high.”
“But then why forbid sex? Rule Number One. This is clearly about the group’s reputation.”
“No, it’s the same as with drugs. Sex messes with the kind of relationship we’re supposed to be developing at meetings. It’s the wrong kind of intensity.”
“Hmm.”
“It could be for both reasons,” Becky said.
“My point,” Kim said, “is that we’re not doing any activities tonight. We’re not trying to relate to each other. We’re just listening to music. If we happen to smoke a little pot on our way here, when we’re not on church property, what difference does it make?”
David gestured to Becky. “Agree? Disagree?”
Becky smiled.
“I personally am beginning to think Kim’s point has merit,” David said.
Still smiling, Becky looked out across the hall. Through a clearing in the crowd, in a cluster of alumni, she glimpsed the back of a suede jacket. She knew it was Tanner’s because the stumpy one, the Natural Woman, had her arm around him, her wild-haired head against his ribs. It was a posture of secure possession. The smile dropped from Becky’s face.
“I think you should do whatever you want,” she said.
“Permission from Hildebrandt!” Kim exulted.
“Reassuringly untainted by self-interest,” David said. “Or so I presume?”
Tanner’s suede-fringed arm was now around the Natural Woman. Becky saw that coming to the concert had been a bad mistake. She liked Kim and David well enough, but they weren’t core friends of hers. Nobody in Crossroads was. The best she could hope to demonstrate to Tanner was a skin-deep popularity. Fearing a return of tears, she wondered if she should turn around and leave. But Kim and David were looking at her expectantly.
“What?” she said.
“Just wondering,” David said casually, “if you’d care to join us.”
It occurred to her that they were worried about Rule Number Three: Any failure to report a rules violation was itself a rules violation.
“Are you saying you don’t trust me?”
“Not an issue,” Kim said. “You said it yourself—we’re not doing anything wrong.”
“Just extending a friendly offer,” David agreed.
Long ago, Clem had scared Becky off marijuana, telling her that the human brain was an instrument too delicate to mess with chemically, and she’d never been much tempted. But now, although she could see other friendly faces in the function hall, she felt she had only two choices—either leave and go home, or go along with her new friends. Wasn’t safety the enemy? Hadn’t she joined Crossroads to become less fearful? To take new risks? It could hardly be worse than standing and watching Tanner be clutched by Laura Dobrinsky. At least her friends were offering to include her.
“No, sure,” she said to David. “I mean, yes, thank you. I’d like to.”
Her assent was a bigger deal to her than to David. He simply turned to follow Kim, who was already moving toward the fire exit by the stage. Reacting to some invisible signal, two other senior girls, Darra Jernigan and Carol Pinella, peeled away from the crowd and joined her. By the time Becky and David caught up with them, her brain was already feeling altered, by the rush of blood in it.