“Here’s what I’ve been wanting to say,” he said. “To put it very simply, you were right. In our coat-closet conversation, which you’ll no doubt remember. I’ve come to the conclusion that you were right.”
His highbrow intonations were repellent. She reared away from him and stood up. “Where’s Judson?”
“Judson is mulling the Stratego board. He luxuriates in the planning aspect.”
“And Mom? Did she come home?”
“I’ve seen neither hide nor hair all day.”
“That’s weird,” Becky said, heading to the door.
“Excuse me?” Perry jumped up and blocked her escape. “Did you not hear what I just said to you?”
“Please get out of my way.”
“I think I’m entitled to two minutes of your attention, Becky. You said you wanted a relationship with me. You said, ‘You’re my brother.’ That is a direct quote.”
“That was Crossroads. You’re supposed to say you want a relationship with everybody.”
“Ah, so, in fact, you don’t want a relationship with me.”
“Will you give me a break? I’m having a really shitty day.”
“And that’s your response? Just walk away?”
Walking away was a well-known Crossroads no-no. Becky rolled her eyes and said, “Fine. Thank you for saying I was right. I’m not sure I was, but thank you for saying it. Now can I please go blow my nose?”
Perry stepped aside but followed her into the bathroom. For no fathomable reason, its Depression-era tub and sink had been installed in one cramped corner, leaving a needlessly large expanse of floor tiles, now cracked and discolored. Perry shut the door and sat down on the laundry hamper while Becky blew her nose.
“When I say you were right,” he said, “I mean that you were right that I’ve never taken you seriously enough. We can skip over my reasons for that—they do me no honor. Suffice it to say I’ve never given you the credit you deserve. You were right to call me on that.”
“Perry, come on. You don’t have to do this.”
“I need to say it. I’ve been unjust to you. And you were honest with me.”
She threw up her arms in frustration. Wrong time, wrong place for a Crossroads dyad.
“I need you to believe,” he went on, “that I’m trying to become a better person. That I’ve taken everything you said to me to heart. I won’t bore you with every detail, but I’ve made some changes. I’ve sworn off intoxicants, for one thing.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Is that what this is about? Were you afraid I was going to nark on you?”
“Not at all.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes!”
“Well, good. I’m glad to hear you’ve done some thinking. I’m glad my criticism was constructive.”
“I need your help, though. I need—”
He broke off, his face reddening. She prayed that he wouldn’t start crying on her. The one time she’d seen him cry at Crossroads, a hundred other people had been there to perform the task of touching him. It was strange that a person so visibly emotional, so ready to cry, both in public and in private, should persistently give her the impression that his emotings were detached from any real thing inside him. It made her feel as if something were wrong with her head.
“It’s hard enough,” he said, “to be in the same house with you and feel like I’m your enemy. But if we’re going to be together in Crossroads, too, we need to find a way to have a better relationship.” He took a deep breath. “I want to be your friend, Becky. Will you be my friend?”
Too late, she saw that she’d been cornered. She well knew, as did he, that the biggest of all Crossroad no-nos was to reject a person’s offer of friendship. You had to accept the offer even if you didn’t really mean to spend time with the person. If she spurned Perry’s offer, and then went to Crossroads and practiced unconditional love, accepted the unqualified worth of everyone else in the group, became “friends” with whoever asked her, he would know she was a hypocrite. She would be a hypocrite. Craftily or not, he’d cornered her.
Overcoming her natural repugnance, the way Jesus had done with lepers, she went and crouched at his feet by the hamper. “I have a lot of trust issues with you,” she said.
“For good reason. I am so sorry.”
“You’re right, though. We should try to get to know each other better. If you’re willing to try, so am I.”