Now he did let out a sob, but only one, a kind of gulp. He slid off the hamper and put his arms around her. “Thank you,” he said into her shoulder.
Returning his hug wasn’t so bad. Whatever precociously illicit things he might have done in secret, he was still a human being, still basically just a boy. He was small for a Hildebrandt, truly her little brother. At the feel of his narrow shoulders in her arms, something maternal stirred in her. He tried to cling to her when she stood up.
“I wonder where Mom is,” she said. “Are you sure she didn’t come home?”
“Jay said he hadn’t seen her. It’s conceivable she went straight to the Haefles’。”
“Not in her exercise clothes.”
“Good point.”
She had to admit that in the wake of their embrace she felt slightly more at ease with him.
“It’s weird,” she said. “She made such a big deal about me being home by six.”
“What for?”
“So I can go to the reception.”
“What are you doing that for? You’ll miss half the concert.”
Disappointment welled up in her again. She turned away to hide it from him. “I’m not going.”
“What?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Is that what you were crying about?” He jumped up and put a hot little hand on her shoulder. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
She almost laughed. “You mean, now that we’re friends? That’s pretty slick, Perry.”
“I guess I deserve that, but you have me all wrong.”
“Part of being a friend is respecting a person’s boundaries.”
“Fair enough. I just wish you’d give me a chance. I know I haven’t earned your trust. I haven’t earned anybody’s trust. But when I heard you crying, I thought, ‘She’s my sister.’”
“Judson’s probably wondering when you’re coming back.”
“I’m going right now. Unless you want to tell me—”
“I don’t.”
“Okay, but listen. If you change your mind about the concert, I’ll be here with Jay. You and I can walk over together when you’re back.”
Returning to her room, lying down on her bed, she tried to make sense of Perry’s sudden kindness to her. Ordinarily, she would have assumed he had some hidden selfish motive. But in hugging him she’d caught a glimmer of the unqualified worth of every human being. Perry had no choice but to be his hot-handed, overly articulate little self, and the vulnerability he’d revealed to her hadn’t seemed like just an act. Walking to the church with her pothead little brother, being together in the snow with him, was the bizarrest of scenarios, but the chance of their becoming friends was exciting in its very slenderness. She’d always had, in Clem, the only brother she needed, but now Clem was far away, preoccupied with his evidently fascinating girlfriend. The biggest barrier to Becky’s relationship with Perry had been her feeling that he disdained her for her lesser intelligence. Maybe all she’d needed was some sign that he respected her and was interested in her as a person. Now that he’d given her such a sign, maybe they really could be friends. Maybe her whole family could be happier, beginning with the unlikely duo of her and Perry.
The feeling of goodwill with which she’d awakened in the morning, before losing it in the ice cave of Tanner’s bus, was coming back. She felt a particular glow of gratitude for Crossroads, which had taught her to take risks. The risk she’d taken with Tanner had brought her pain, but in the glow of her goodwill she could see that she might have overreacted, might have pushed him too hard on the wrong night, might have set too much store on the outward appearance of going to the concert with him. Meanwhile, the risk of confronting Perry, in the coat closet at church, had encouraged him to take his own risk, by offering her his friendship. For better and for worse, but mostly for better, Crossroads was making her more alive.
At six o’clock, though there was still no sign of either of her parents, she got up to make herself presentable. The spectacle of blotch reflected in the bathroom mirror discouraged her, but she brushed her hair, reapplied her makeup, and went and knocked on Perry and Judson’s door.
“Who is it?” Perry answered sharply.
“The war-game police. I’m coming in.”
Opening the door, she saw Perry reclining on one elbow and Judson kneeling over their homemade board game, his ankles crossed beneath him in a position that would have excruciated anyone older than ten. With a subtle movement of her head, she beckoned Perry into the hallway. He hopped right up.