“How much power did you give her, Macy?” Jaxon asks, looking from the bookcase to my cousin and back again.
“That wasn’t me,” Macy answers. “I can barely do that now with all my power, let alone with the little bit I was siphoning off for Grace.”
“Then where did it come from?” Jaxon demands. “Power like that doesn’t just—”
He breaks off as it hits him, which is just about the same time it hits me. No wonder the power felt strangely familiar. It’s been there, lurking inside me, for nearly four months.
“Hudson.” Jaxon says his brother’s name like it leaves a bad taste in his mouth, nose up and mouth curled into a small sneer while I simply whisper it.
But when I whirl around to confront him, determined to find out what and how and why he did what he did, he’s gone. And not “hiding in a corner, pouting” gone, either. He’s gone gone, and I have absolutely no idea what to do to bring him back.
53
Everybody Wants to
Rule the World
“I don’t know what happened,” I tell Jaxon for what feels like the thousandth time. “He helped me feel the power, helped me focus it, helped me use it, and then he just disappeared.”
“How can he disappear?” Jaxon answers, shoving a hand through his already messed-up hair. “I thought he was trapped in your head?”
“He is trapped in my head,” I soothe. “Sometimes he just goes to a part I can’t access very easily.”
“How does that even work?” Flint asks, his voice going up an octave on the last word, and for the first time I realize he’s almost as stressed out as Jaxon. “He’s just running around in your head, and you hope he’s not screwing up anything important?”
I start to take offense—it’s not like I have absolute control over Hudson, but I feel like he and I have been bumping along pretty well since the body-snatching incidents—at least until I remember that Flint’s older brother died because of Hudson. It’s what put such a strain on his friendship with Jaxon, and it’s what led to the weirdness that’s between them today.
“It’s not like that, Flint. We have different times when we give each other privacy—like when I’m in the shower, for instance—where we don’t know what the other person is doing. He’s still trapped in here with me; he’s just out of touch for a little while. He’ll be back.”
Jaxon looks sick. “I never thought about you taking a shower or getting dressed with him around. How come I never thought of that?”
“Because it doesn’t matter. We have a system worked out.”
“Is this part of your system?” Flint asks, and the tone he uses gets my back up. “Him directing his power through you and then disappearing while you take the consequences?”
“The consequences?” I answer. “You aren’t my teacher or my parents. There are no consequences in us having a discussion, no matter how unhappy you are.
“Plus.” I shoot him a narrow-eyed look. “I don’t even know what you’re so upset about. You wanted me to channel magic and I did, so back off a little, will you?”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” Flint shoots back. “I just meant that you’re the one who’s going to have to fix things if he messes them up, and that doesn’t seem fair to you.”
His explanation takes a little of the fight out of me, and I slump down onto the back of the couch. “I get that you want answers, guys. I want answers, too. But there are times when something upsets me, and I want to be alone. I owe Hudson that same courtesy.”
Besides, after everything that happened, I want some time alone, too. Some time to process everything that happened and just sit with it for a while. So I’m in no hurry for Hudson to come back. Once he does, I’m pretty sure everything is going to get even more complicated.
Flint relaxes a little at my words, and so does Jaxon, but they both keep wary eyes on me. As does Macy, who has been uncharacteristically quiet since the whole magic-channeling thing happened. And while I appreciate the fact that all three of them are only looking out for me in their own ways, I also have to admit that the overprotectiveness is going to exhaust my patience sooner rather than later.
Macy must sense it, because out of the blue, she suddenly suggests, “Hey, why don’t you guys go flying?”
“Flying?” I ask, because just the thought of it makes me nervous.