I see the glow of his light, and I zigzag to stay out of the beam.
And now we’re playing flashlight tag. Like they were that night. The old rhyme jeers at me.
Run and hide.
Hide and run.
I’ll count from ten, then join the fun.
Say a prayer and bow your head.
If my light finds you, you’ll be dead.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
Ready or not, here I come.
I’m Dempsey Fontenot.
You better run.
I kick off my boots. They’re slowing me down. Then I swallow the panic along with the rain and keep running.
Blind.
Arms stretched out in front of me. Hoping not to feel anything.
Hoping if I do feel something, it won’t be him.
Not him.
Not him.
Please don’t let it be him.
I hear the third blast of the boat horn, and I’m trying to work out if Evie’s had time to make it to the dock.
Something grabs my ankle – cold, wet fingers – and I scream and go down hard. I hit the mud like it’s concrete, and it forces every bit of air out of my lungs. My chest aches and I couldn’t scream any more, even if I wanted to. Not that there’s anybody to scream for.
I kick at the hand at my ankle and realize it’s just a twisting root. But I don’t have the strength or the will to get up.
Slicing rain stings my skin like a thousand tiny knives. The mud is pulling at me.
Sucking me down.
If I don’t do something now, this is where they’ll find my body.
I wonder if Elora kept running.
Everything feels so surreal. Like watching a movie I’ve seen before. Only I was half asleep the first time. Not paying attention.
Now I’m wide awake.
I hear Hart calling my name. The sound of his voice makes me wish the mud would hurry up and do its job. I want it to suck me down and down and down and then cover me up for good, so there’s nothing left of me for him to find.
But then something thick and slimy moves against my leg. And I’m on my feet before I have time to think about what it might be.
I stumble again when I hit water, but I don’t go down. Li’l Pass isn’t so little any more. There’s no jumping it now. The water is up to my knees, and I fight the current to stay on my feet.
I see the bounce of his flashlight beam, and I hear Hart yelling my name again. Over the wind and the rain and the rushing water. And I’m not completely sure if I’m hearing him outside my head.
Or inside.
“Greycie,” he pleads. “Where are you? It’s me. Please.” His voice is broken, hoarse and bleeding. Like his throat is ripped open. Like all of him is ripped open. And I can tell he’s crying. But I don’t call back. I can’t let him find me.
Because if I do, he’ll kill me.
Just like he killed Elora.
Hart’s flashlight beam cuts through the dark again, and I drop down to my hands and knees in the middle of the storm. In the middle of Li’l Pass. My mouth is barely above the water, and I dig my fingers and toes into the mud to keep from being swept away.
The feeling is familiar, and I remember, too late, what happens next.
How I drowned the first time.
On my bathroom floor.
The bayou is flooding out. Water runs over my back and swirls around my ears. Deeper and deeper. I try not to breathe it in. But I have to breathe. I gasp for air and water rushes in instead. I’m coughing and gagging, and every time my body cries out for oxygen, all I get is water.
Panic stabs at my insides. It slices me up and leaves me in ribbons. I can’t see. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. I can’t – My throat is on fire. The water burns my lungs like I’m sucking in gasoline.
I lose my grip on the mud, and I feel myself being pulled along with the torrent. Tumbling. Spinning. Arms over head over knees or elbows. Mud in my nose. My mouth. My eyes. There’s nothing to grab on to. Nothing solid in the whole world.
And then it all goes black.
Peaceful.
No more fear.
Until –
Hart hauls me up by my arm – like I’m a catfish he’s pulling out of a pond – and I come roaring back to myself. I fight against him. I kick and I claw and I bite. I spit rain and mud and curse words. But he’s too strong, and there’s not enough life left in me. I’m choking. Fighting to breathe. Out of the water but still drowning.
“Goddammit, Grey.” He gathers me up in his arms. “Just stop.”
My head is pounding, and it bounces against his shoulder as he carries me through the storm. I vomit bucketfuls of water on to his chest. And I stop fighting then. I turn my face up toward the sky and wait for the rain to drown me.