7.
WELL, HE SAID, naturally that’s the thing, you can’t just come right out and say what happened, you have to save it or else there’s no book, there’s no story, there’s just some facts, and that’s not what people are looking for in a crime book, writers have several ideas about why people want to read crime but it doesn’t really matter why, is the thing, what matters is that people want to feel like they got, I don’t know, a full helping, their money’s worth, enough, you know, Wambaugh is great at this, or was, is he dead now, I can’t remember. Anyway, he makes you wait, I have my own style and I try to get a few more cards on the table a little earlier, but still you have to hold a few things back, you have to work up to the payoff so that when you get there it feels like there was some purpose in the journey, a satisfying twang when you finally release the string, a general settling in to the moment they’ve been waiting for. Some people actually write their endings first, just so they can get it out of the way, I’ve told people in workshops to try that if endings are giving them trouble, but that’s not me: I have to keep learning as I go, otherwise I’ll lose interest, generally speaking this has been a winning ticket for me, except that the whole experience of the last however many, Jesus, years, that’s obviously exposed some major weaknesses in the method, which I was pretty confident about before, I’m honestly in conflict about it now, because the whole situation is a little disastrous even if the near-term solution, “write a different book,” right, is staring me right in the face.
Right, I said, I mean, that’s my question, from what I’ve been able to dig up about the case I just, I’m not quite sure I get it, a lot of the details of the case in your manuscript I can’t find, you know, at all, I can’t find anybody else talking about them, I can’t—
Corroborate, he said, the word you’re looking for is “corroborate,” that’s what the copy editor asked me, we’d already agreed on the draft, my editor liked it well enough before it got to the copy editor’s desk, but once it landed there she called me up, Tania her name is, she’s incredibly bright, and she says, There’s a lot here.
Then she asked for some historical sources, and I had those, newspaper clippings, stuff about the property, my documentation was super-good on that stuff, maps, deeds of transfer, receipts, it’s great when you can find actual paper receipts, ledgers, I specialize in objects, they’re the tools of my trade, and I sent those along and she called again a week later and she said, This is all great, you’re the best; it feels good imagining she’s got other writers who make her job harder, and here I am with all my stuff in order, I think I luxuriated in that feeling for an extra few seconds because I knew it couldn’t last, and then she asked me whether anybody could corroborate the details about Siraj’s family.
Because nobody wants to get sued, Gage said. You understand? And they’ll come for the publishers before they come for the authors, because authors generally don’t have any money, but again, while that would be the usual-case problem, it wasn’t actually the problem at hand here, that problem was only just now about to break through the skin and start wriggling its little head around. That was really how it felt to me, you know, like a worm inside my book waiting to eat through the pages and leave me with nothing, you probably already know this, but that’s what a bookworm actually is, a type of maggot that eats paper or possibly is only looking for the paste that binds the pages together, I ran across something about it researching something several years before all this, but now I was thinking, there’s a third kind of bookworm, first there’s the one who reads a lot of books, and then there’s the one who eats through them, and then there’s the kind you hatch yourself when you write one, did I tell you Jesse Jenkins’s mother wrote to me while I was living at the place in Milpitas?
No, I said, you didn’t. Well, he said, she did, giant long letter, I don’t think I can really talk about it, pretty raw stuff, but it was weighing heavy on me, you can imagine, his mom, still alive after all that, still trying to push forward somehow, I mean all that was a long time ago for me, but then I started to wonder what actually constitutes a long time, I’m not sure a person’s ever actually old enough to ask himself that question, but I’d been asking it anyway and wondering, it was Jana’s letter that sort of opened up the amphora for me or something, do you follow me? No, I said, I don’t think so.