The day was hot, with little wind, and in the rare stillness the sounds of people laughing and making as much of the event as possible were earnest and abrasive. Amalie, Christiana, Thea and I stood with three other women on deck, looking on as the young men squabbled in a good-natured way about who ought to be butcher, their fathers and the sailors goading them on.
Papa placed a rope around the pig’s neck, holding it still as Hans and Matthias wrenched the nails from its crate and brought one side free.
‘He’s very strong, isn’t he?’ Christiana murmured to no one in particular.
‘The pig?’ I asked.
‘I meant Hans,’ Christiana answered, rolling her eyes.
Mutter Scheck twitched in disapproval. ‘Halt’s Maul, so fliegt dir keine Mücke hinein. Close your mouth, so no mosquitoes will fly in, Christiana.’
The pig was led out of the crate. Everyone cheered and the animal, startled by the sudden noise, immediately lurched starboard, taking Papa by surprise so that he stumbled and was dragged on his knees. People laughed. Papa joined in, letting out a roar as he got back on his feet. He gave the animal a few slaps on its rear. It squealed and the passengers laughed again.
‘I feel sick.’
Thea had been very quiet all morning. I saw that she had turned away from the deck and was looking out to sea.
‘Really?’
‘I want to go below.’
‘Thea, Daniel Pfeiffer will do it. They’re not going to let the boys fumble it.’
‘Please, Hanne.’
I noticed that she was trembling.
‘I can’t watch.’
Mutter Scheck was enjoying the mirth. I waited until she had stopped guffawing and tapped her on the shoulder.
‘What is it, Hanne?’ she asked, still smiling.
‘Thea is not well.’
Mutter’s smile vanished, eyes flitting to Thea, who waited for me, pale-faced, at the hatch entrance. ‘Fever?’
‘Just a little tired, I think.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, I’m sure that’s it. I am too. We’ve slept so little these past days.’
‘Go on, then,’ she said, her attention already turning back to the pig and its capture. ‘Don’t leave the bow.’
The pig’s frantic squealing quietened as we returned below deck, but Thea was almost crying by the time we crawled back into bed. She clamped her hands over her ears. ‘I hate it,’ she said. ‘I hate it. I can’t understand why everyone wants to watch such a thing. Hanne, talk to me. Sing to me. Tell me something.’
‘All right.’ I took her hand. It was hot and damp. ‘Think of the lives we have ahead of us. Imagine what they will be like. We will have to learn English, you know.’
There was a loud rumble of laughter from above, a shrill screeching from the pig.
‘Try not to listen,’ I said.
‘Do you know any English?’
‘I know the word for Wasser.’
‘What is it?’
‘It is “water”。 Matthias taught me. I forget everything else.’
‘Tell me more about our lives.’
‘We will have our own farms one day,’ I said. ‘We’ll make sure they are side by side. And we will plant orchards. Nut trees. Fruit trees. Vines. Just think, we’ll be able to pick all the fruit we could ever want. Our children will play in the grass and climb the branches, and we will pick plums and apples and apricots. There will be fields of grain, too. And we won’t ever have to look at the ocean again.’
‘Keep going.’
‘And you don’t have to raise pigs. You can have cows. Chickens. Maybe a horse. A lovely calm horse to breathe on your fingers on cold winter mornings and warm them. Big dark eyes.’
‘That sounds nice.’
‘We will see each other every day. We will sit next to each other in church. I’ll name my daughter for you.’
Thea turned and pulled me into a tight, fierce hug. ‘Promise me,’ she said.
‘Promise what?’
‘Promise it will be as you say. Promise you will name your daughter for me.’
‘You can be her godmother.’
There was a loud cheering from the deck. The pig was silent.
‘I think it is dead now,’ I said.
‘Thank God.’ Thea exhaled. ‘Thank God for that.’
The air below decks was soon grey with smoke from the kitchens, viscid with pork fat. There were cheers and salutations over the unexpected meal. Bones sucked clean. Fat chewed on back teeth. Ears crisped to crackle.