She laughed, like she knew he wanted her to. She could tell he was trying to put her at ease. She appreciated it. Being in the car with him, being this close to him, made all of her nerve endings feel exposed.
“Okay.” He glanced over at her. “I’ll go first. Here’s something that I absolutely would only tell my neighbor Margot, not my hypothetical boss Margot—I up and quit my last job in a rage. Just got furious one day and quit.”
She raised her eyebrows at him.
“Was it because of what you told me on the way back from the staff dinner? The racist thing that your old boss said?”
He shook his head slowly.
“No. Not for that. I’d probably have more respect for myself if that was why.” He sighed. “It was something small, stupid. I brought something up in a meeting, an idea I had, and he mocked it. Just totally laughed at me, and got other people laughing at me, too. Which had happened more than once, actually—to me, to other people, he did that kind of thing, to kind of get us competing with each other—but I was just suddenly so fucking sick of it. I drafted my resignation email while I was still in that meeting, and about an hour later, I pressed send.”
He wasn’t looking at her. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. It had been hard, she realized, for him to tell her this.
“Good for you,” she said.
He tensed up. She could feel it.
“What do you mean?”
Oh. He thought she was being sarcastic.
“I mean good for you. Really. I’m glad you did that. I’ve worked in toxic places like that and stayed far too long. Good for you for getting out when you did.”
He was quiet for a while. She let the silence grow.
“Thank you,” he said finally. “I’m sure everyone else thinks that I couldn’t hack it anymore, that I wasn’t strong enough to keep going. The only other person I’ve told—really told, I mean—about how and why I quit was Avery. Avery Jensen, you know her; she’s one of my best friends. She also told me I did the right thing. It’s not that I don’t trust her, I do, but Avery never takes any bullshit from anyone, so of course she would think it was a good decision.”
“Avery was right,” Margot said.
Luke laughed.
“I won’t tell her you said that. She’d lord it over me forever.” His smile faded. “Anyway, I haven’t even told my mom that I quit. I gave her some bullshit about taking a sabbatical and told her that’s why I moved back up here. In an attempt to get her off my back, I found a new job at a winery.” He smiled sideways at her.
“Ah, everything makes sense now,” she said.
They both smiled for a moment.
His smile faded, and he looked straight ahead.
“I haven’t even told Avery this, but sometimes I wonder if I should have just kept my head down, worked harder, had more grit or whatever. Or that the real reason I quit was I just wasn’t good enough. I guess . . . I guess I haven’t told my mom because I know I’d be disappointing her. She’s just so proud of me—you saw her today, she brags about me to everyone like that. And if she knew I failed, like this . . . I just don’t want to let her down.”
“You didn’t fail, Luke,” Margot said. Did he want to hear that from her? She wasn’t sure, but she had to say it.
He just shrugged.
“I guess. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, though.” She started to say something else, but he kept talking. “My old mentor there texted me this morning—linked me to this big article about all of their brand-new diversity efforts, said to call him if I wanted to chat about any of that. Said he missed me around there.”
She raised her eyebrows at him.
“Does this mean we’re going to lose you soon?” She cleared her throat. “I mean, since I’m just your neighbor Margot, are you going to go back?”
He laughed.
“Back there? Oh God no, never. I think I burned too many bridges. Plus, I can’t imagine working with that same set of assholes again. I’m sure I’ll go back to tech someday, though. I actually liked the work I did, once upon a time, at least. I’m glad someone there seems to still like me, it’ll mean a good reference and some good connections, but I can’t imagine going back there. Luckily, I saved up enough while working there that I don’t have to worry about my next steps for a while.” He grinned at her, but it felt like he had to make an effort to do it. “There—that’s a good story from your neighbor Luke, who gave you a ride home.”