I didn’t care about how he made money. I cared about my friend. “He raped her, Felix.”
His Adam’s apple rose and fell.
“I wanted you to stop selling altogether,” I said. “Not pass the business off to a monster.”
“And you asked me to give up my business when you won’t even commit to being my girlfriend. You don’t know how much you keep asking for. And I’m trying my best to give you everything you want. I’m sorry about Cupcake. I’ll talk to him. I’ll fix it.”
“You can’t fix it. You can’t undo what he did to her.”
He pushed his hair off his forehead. “I’m sorry. I know you hate those words, but what else can I say right now? I’m really fucking sorry that happened. I’ll talk to Cupcake. And I’ll talk to Kennedy. I’ll try to stop the rumors.”
“Don’t talk to Kennedy.” I put my face in my hands for a second. She didn’t want me to tell anyone about this. God, I was supposed to be pushing them together, not telling Felix not to speak to her. I pulled my face out of my hands. “I promised not to tell anyone.”
“Okay. I won’t talk to her.”
Operation Felix was a complete bust. All I’d accomplished was remembering how easy it was to get lost in his eyes. And forbidding him to speak to Kennedy. This was a total mess. And suddenly everything just felt so heavy. I was used to carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. When I’d been worried about my mom every day. And now I’d messed up this fresh start in New York. Everything just felt even heavier. It was like I was stuck in quicksand and I couldn’t get out.
“Hey, come here.” He pulled me into his arms. “I won’t let him do anything like that ever again. I promise.”
Since Kennedy wouldn’t tell anyone else about it, his words did make me feel better. He’d make sure it didn’t happen to someone else. That was the best that could be done. “Thank you.” I rested the side of my head on his chest.
The music had changed to an upbeat song, but neither one of us seemed to care.
“You can’t deny that this feels right,” he said.
No, I really couldn’t. I held on to him a little tighter. Him cutting me out of his life had felt terrible. I never wanted that to happen again. I breathed a sigh of relief. I forgot how much the weight on my shoulders seemed to transfer off when I was in his arms.
“I know Cupcake is here somewhere,” Felix said. “I better go find him.”
I leaned back so I could look up at him. “Thank you. For believing me.” I knew that was part of the reason Kennedy wasn’t saying anything. She was worried no one would believe her. Especially with the rumors going around.
“Save me another dance?”
I nodded as his hands fell from my waist. “Thanks, Felix. For being understanding. And patient. And…you’re just…thank you.”
He smiled. “I’d wait a lifetime for you, newb.”
Chapter 33
Saturday
My heart was more confused than ever as I turned in a circle looking for Kennedy. Tonight was officially a disaster. I knew that I’d just promised another dance to Felix. And I still owed one to Matt. But I needed to get the hell out of here before I did anything else crazy.
I didn’t see Kennedy anywhere. It seemed darker in here than before. The music was louder. The students rowdier. If the dancing was an indicator, it wasn’t just Matt and Kennedy drinking the spiked punch. I looked over at the bar.
Matt was downing another glass of punch. He slammed it down on the bar as we made eye contact. I was surprised the glass didn’t shatter.
And then he started to make his way over here.
Shit. I couldn’t talk to him right now. Not after what I’d done with James. Not after that conversation with Felix. I needed a second to breathe. The kiss with James meant nothing. But Felix didn’t mean nothing to me. I’d always really liked him.
Matt was taller than a lot of the other students, and I could see him clearly beelining right for me. He was only a few seconds away. And I had no idea what to say to him. I had no idea if I could trust him. James had seemed pretty adamant that Matt was a liar. And I’d had my fair share of Matt’s lies to add to the list.
Rob stepped in front of me. “Wanna dance?” His lip was cut from the fight. And he’d lost his bowtie somewhere. It was probably trampled on the floor.
“Um…” It was tempting, just to give me a few minutes before I had to talk to Matt. But the last thing I wanted to do was give anyone else the wrong idea. I’d kissed James. Fallen for Matt. Mr. Pruitt apparently wanted me to be with Mason. The last thing I needed was another Untouchable on my radar.