He hadn’t been here for the fight? He hadn’t seen any of it? “There was a fight. But do you mind if we catch up in just a second? I really need to go check on Kennedy.”
“Sorry that was not the way I planned to start this conversation.” He roughly put his fingers through his hair. “The last thing I wanted to do was bring up Matt. Let me just rewind for a sec.” He put his hand out for me. “May I have this dance?”
“I…actually, Kennedy…” my voice trailed off. “I need to go make sure Kennedy’s okay.”
“I’m trying to apologize here, newb. Just give me a minute.”
How many more cups of punch could Kennedy consume in a minute? Probably not that many. I’d been waiting for Felix to talk to me again all week. And here he was wanting to talk. Not that he needed to say anything to me. I was the one that needed to apologize. And instead of manning up to it, I was trying to run in the opposite direction. What was wrong with me?
I took a deep breath. Instead of taking his hand, I just started talking. “Felix, I’m so so sorry. I never meant to lead you on, I swear. It’s just that Matt made me promise I wouldn’t tell anyone we were seeing each other. And we weren’t exclusive. Him and I. Or you and I.” This was all coming out in a jumbled mess. And Felix was just staring at me. I wasn’t even sure he could hear me, so I started talking louder over the music. “Felix, you’re one of my best friends. I hate fighting with you. I hate you being mad at me. Please don’t shut me out. I know I was a jerk, but I didn’t mean to be. In the moment I just really really needed a shoulder to cry on. Literally. And you were there. And you’re so handsome.” My gaze had locked on to his ocean blue eyes. What am I even saying right now? I was supposed to be setting him up with Kennedy, not telling him he was dreamy.
Finally a smile spread over his face. “Newb, I came over to apologize to you. Not the other way around.” He stopped asking for a dance and just grabbed my hand and pulled me into his chest.
The way he was staring at me made my heart race. I needed to focus. And not on the way his body felt pressed against mine. “I like being friends with you,” I said.
“You’re not looking at me like a friend,” he said.
“Yes I am.”
“No…you’re not.” He tilted his head a little lower to mine.
I closed my eyes to drown out the image of him in front of me. “Felix Green, it’s true, I am attracted to you. And I love talking to you. You have no idea how much I missed our conversations this week. But none of that matters because I’m so confused that my head literally hurts. I’m a freaking mess.”
“You’re not a mess. You’re beautiful.”
My stupid stomach betrayed me by feeling butterflies. “You weren’t here a few minutes ago, but I freaking kissed James Hunter because he made me feel like I owed him. And that Matt deserved it. Or something. I don’t even know why I did it. That’s how big of a mess I am. That’s what caused the huge fight. Me. All of it’s my fault.”
“Don’t you see what’s happening? Those boys are messing with your head, newb. They don’t care about anyone but themselves. They don’t care about you. But I do. I’m not one of them. You and I aren’t like them.”
I opened my eyes again. “I’m a Pruitt.” The name felt gross on my tongue.
“No.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re a Sanders. Always and forever.”
Always and forever. “I also sleep in my bodyguard’s bed most nights because I’m terrified of the Pruitts’ apartment and he’s kind and lets me cry in his arms.”
“That Miller guy?” Felix laughed. “Isn’t he a little old for you?”
That Miller guy. Oh God, I didn’t even know Miller’s first name. And I didn’t know how old he was either. I pressed my lips together.
“So you ran into another man’s bed because I wasn’t talking to you all week,” Felix said. “That’s kind of on me.”
Or did I do it because I’d iced out Matt all week? My head was spinning. What was Operation Felix again? “Do you know who’s not a mess? Kennedy. She’s not a mess at all.”
“You sure about that? I mean…aren’t all three of us a mess? We’re all going to a school we don’t really belong at.”
“Kennedy belongs at Empire High. She’s so smart. And you belong here too. It doesn’t matter that you’re not old money. You belong here, Felix. With Kennedy.”