What did that have to do with Dr. Wilson? “Um, yeah, okay.” Maybe it would be good to move around. Besides, I didn’t want to be alone right now. Talking to Dr. Wilson would at least keep my mind preoccupied.
I walked out of my room and tried to hide from Miller’s judging glare. Although…he didn’t look so disapproving this morning. He just looked…sad. For me? Because of me? I had no idea. I could add him to the list of people that hated me right now.
His eyes locked with mine. “You don’t have to do this,” Miller mouthed silently to me. “You can still back out.”
What? Why was everyone so concerned about whether or not I was on birth control? It was no one’s business but mine. I just turned away from him. I didn’t have the energy to fight with him right now. All the fight in me was gone.
We stopped outside the locked room down the hall and my dad started to type in the code.
“Do you think that maybe everyone was better off before I got here?” I asked. That was the question I kept coming back to. Before I came to New York, the Hunters and Caldwells were friends. Kennedy had never dated that creep Cupcake. Miller was probably happy. Felix hadn’t been in prison. And my uncle wouldn’t have had to waste his final few months on this earth taking care of me. I swallowed hard. I was the worst.
My dad shook his head. “How can you possibly say that?”
“Because it’s true.”
“You saved my life. In more ways than one. Truly, Brooklyn. You are my angel. And I’m so grateful every day that you walked into my life.”
“Really?” I blinked back my tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Maybe I had made one person’s life better. And even though I had been wary of my dad at first, he’d made my life better too. I didn’t know what I’d ever do without him now. Maybe when my mom was pregnant he hadn’t wanted me. But he wanted me now. And today I really needed to feel wanted.
“Really.” He kissed the top of my head and pressed enter on the keypad. The door made a weird hissing noise and he opened it.
The room was blindingly white. I blinked a few times, waiting for my eyes to adjust.
“Oh good,” my dad said. “You’re already here.” He shook Dr. Wilson’s hand.
I looked around the white room. There was a bed, a chair, and lots of weird machines. It kind of looked like a hospital room. I shuddered. I hated hospitals. And I knew my dad hadn’t asked me much about how my mom had died, but he knew she’d gotten sick. Why would he think I wanted to see this room? I’d basically lived in a hospital room like this the past few years. And why the hell did he even have a room like this?
“It’s good to see you again,” Dr. Wilson said. “How about you lie down for me and we can get started?”
“Why do you have a hospital room in your home?” I asked and turned to my dad.
“It’s hard to make time to go in for all my checkups,” my dad said. “With work and everything.”
I wondered if the Caldwells had a hospital room in their mansion. I hadn’t come across it while I was there. I stared at one of the machines as I lay down. It didn’t look like any that had been in my mom’s hospital room.
My dad sat down in the chair beside the bed and grabbed my hand. “I know you said you didn’t want me in here with you,” my dad said. “But I’m going to stay for as long as I can. I don’t want you to do this alone. Is that okay with you?”
He was being extra nice today. He knew I was feeling down. I squeezed his hand. “Yeah, you can stay.”
“I can’t thank you enough for doing this,” my dad said.
“It’s no problem.”
He lifted my hand and kissed it. “Really, princess.” Tears were welling in the corners of his eyes.
I wasn’t sure why he was so emotional about this. It was just birth control. Ow. I looked over to see Dr. Wilson injecting something into my arm. He’d already given me shots when we’d first met. Did I really need any more? I bit the inside of my lip. I needed a distraction. “What are all those machines?” I asked.
My dad gave me a strange look. “They’re for my dialysis. I need it three times a week. It was getting exhausting going to the hospital so frequently. So Dr. Wilson helped set all this up.”
Wait, what? “Dialysis?” I tried to sit up, but my body felt all weird and tingly. “What’s dialysis for?” I’d heard about it before, but I couldn’t place it.