I bit the inside of my lip. He wasn’t supposed to be saying stuff like that to me. “James…”
“How do you know if someone loves you or your money?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do. Because you love Matt for Matt. You don’t care about his money. You’re not like Rachel.”
“I thought you two made up?”
“Yeah. But I don’t want to be with her anymore. She doesn’t love me. People in love don’t cheat.”
“People make mistakes.” I’d certainly made plenty of them.
“I want to be with you,” James said. “Like in the shower. It was like you needed me. I think I like being needed. Rachel doesn’t need me. She just wants the life I can give her.”
“James…”
“I won’t kiss you. I just want to sit with you. I can’t remember the last time I was as happy as I was that night. Just sitting.”
“If I remember correctly, you also got your…you know…bitten. It couldn’t have been that great of a night.”
He laughed. “That part was not the best. But my dick is fine, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“I wasn’t.”
He sighed. “I’m so fucking tired.”
Something about the way he said it made it seem like he wasn’t sleepy. More like tired of his life.
“Can you please tell me where you are?”
“I’m going to get the fuck out of this city as soon as I can. Is everyone in Delaware as nice as you? Maybe I’ll move there.”
“Not everyone. But in general…yeah, people seem friendlier.”
“Yeah, maybe I’ll go there. One day. I don’t know. I’m tired. You know?”
No, I didn’t know. That was the problem. All I knew was that I was worried about him. Ever since Matt told me he was scared James might try to hurt himself, I’d been worried. More now than before. Because it seemed like now I was the only one looking out for him. “Tell me where you are, James.”
“I’m in a bathroom.”
“That’s not helpful.”
He laughed. “I meant what I said when I proposed. I don’t think we’d be miserable together. I think you make me happy. I think you’re the only one that makes me happy.”
“Don’t say that.” My stomach twisted into more knots. It wasn’t fair for him to put his happiness on me. I couldn’t be his person.
“Why shouldn’t I say it? It’s true.” He sighed. “And you understand my misery too. I like drowning with you. Fuck. I want you even more because I can’t have you.”
“Just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. I’m a pretty great friend, James.”
“Friends with benefits?”
“Just friends,” I said.
“Right. The kind with lots of benefits.”
I laughed. “Please just tell me where you are.”
“Will you come? And just sit with me for a few minutes? I won’t tell Matt.”
It didn’t matter if he would or wouldn’t tell Matt. I couldn’t do that. “I’m going to make sure you get home safe.”
That seemed to be enough for him. Because he finally gave me the address. I jotted it down and hung up the phone.
The SUV that drove me everywhere was still right outside. I walked out onto 5th Avenue and tapped on the glass.
Miller rolled down the window. “Yes, Miss Pruitt?”
I hated when he called me that. “I know this is a weird request, but is it possible for one of you to go pick up my friend? He’s drunk and he needs a ride home. I don’t really trust anyone else to make sure he gets home safely.”
“What’s the address?” Donnelley asked.
“He mentioned that he was in a bathroom in this club.” I handed him the piece of paper I’d written the address down on.
“That’s close by,” Donnelley said. “I can swing by real quick. What friend?”
“James Hunter. He has brown hair and dark brown eyes and…”
Donnelley laughed. “I know Mr. Hunter. I’ll make sure he gets home safely.”
Miller lowered his eyebrows. It looked like he’d been trying to ignore me the whole time, but the name bothered him enough to actually make him show emotion. I hated that Miller had seen James kiss me. I hated that we were in a situation where we still had to see each other every day. I hated that I’d hurt him.