“Okay.”
“Do you have any idea what style dress…” his voice trailed off. “Never mind. We both know you need me for this.”
I laughed. “I absolutely do.”
“What about the location? Do you have a place in mind? I’ll need to call them ASAP.”
“There’s this restaurant in Central Park that Matt used to go to with his family as a kid. Right by a pond. And there’s these fairy lights that come on at night.” I pictured Matt getting down on one knee and asking me to be his girlfriend right on the bridge by the restaurant. He’d pulled out a hot dog instead of a ring. I was smiling so much it hurt. “I don’t know the name of the restaurant but Matt does…”
“It’s done. Don’t worry about it. I’ve got this. I promise. This is the big break I’ve been waiting for. And I’ll make everything perfect, I swear to you. Every last detail. You can rely on me.”
“I trust you.”
He screamed again. “I need to go. I have a million things I need to do. December 22nd?” He pulled out his phone. “Oh thank goodness it’s a Saturday. Saturday weddings are the best. Anything else you girls need for tonight?” He was already pulling his makeup cases into his arms.
“We’re good,” Kennedy said. “Go plan the wedding of my best friend’s dreams.”
Justin did a weird salute before practically skipping out of the room.
“I love him,” Kennedy said.
“Me too. And if anyone can pull this off in less than two months, it’s him.”
“I can’t believe you’ll be hitched in less than two months! Shotgun wedding,” Kennedy said with a laugh.
My face turned red. I hadn’t told Kennedy that I’d slept with Matt. It felt…wrong to talk to her about it. Her first time had been stolen from her. And I didn’t want to tell her about how perfect Matt had been.
“Your face is bright red. Oh my God, wait. You’re not actually pregnant…”
“No!”
She laughed.
And now I had made it awkward. How was I supposed to tell her about my first time now? I’d kept it a secret for over a week.
“Your face is still red,” she said. “Wait, have you two taken the next step?” She laughed. “I’m ridiculous. Of course you have. You’re freaking getting married! Why didn’t you tell me?”
I sat down on the edge of my bed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you. I feel so guilty…”
“Guilty?” She sat down with me. “Why on earth would you feel guilty for being happy?”
God, it felt like I’d been carrying around this weight with me forever. “When I moved to New York it was like my life was over. I was so sad all the time. Like this part of me was missing. And now all I do all day is smile…”
“Brooklyn.” Kennedy pulled me into her side. “Your mom would have wanted you to be happy.”
“I know. I just…” my voice trailed off. “I miss her and Uncle Jim so much. I shouldn’t be this happy without them. I still miss them so much. But Matt’s love…I don’t even know how to describe it. He just lifts me up.”
Kennedy rested her head on my shoulder. “You’ve been through so much. There’s nothing wrong with holding on to something that makes you smile.”
I swallowed hard. I knew that. But it felt good to hear it out loud. “And I feel awful talking about our relationship in front of you because of what Cupcake did…”
“I’m okay,” Kennedy said. “And I never want you to keep something from me because of what he did. That’s just letting him take more away from me. I always want you to be able to tell me everything. So spill it. Tell me about your first time.”
I filled her in on the details. And despite what she said about being okay, I saw the hurt in her eyes. I’d seen glimpses of it ever since she told me what had happened with Cupcake. Mostly she did seem okay. But I knew she was putting on a brave face.
I remembered that time that Miller asked if I wanted for him to “take care” of Cupcake for me. I pressed my lips together. I’d talked to my dad a few times on the phone, but I hadn’t gotten the courage to flat out ask him if he was a mobster. Because honestly, I was pretty sure I already knew the truth. “You know…if you really want revenge. I can probably make something happen.”
“What do you mean?”