God. His hand is on my wrist. And it’s like a blazing fire is about to spread all over my skin.
It doesn’t, though, because as soon as I can stand on my own, he releases my wrist and steps back. There’s always some sort of safe distance between us now.
And I hate the distance.
I hate space.
But what I hate the most is the man standing in front of me, looking as handsome as ever in his dark suit, with his hair styled, and his face as hard as granite.
It’s because of him that I gambled with my heart and failed.
Or maybe it’s because of that stupid vanilla heart that’s still trying to revive itself back to life at the mere sight of him. Hearts don’t understand, do they? All they care about is staying alive, even if it hurts.
Even if it’s being slashed open in the process and all that’s left is blood with his scent mixed in it.
Then it hits me.
Nate is here.
Dad is also here.
Oh, shit.
“What are you doing here? Dad’s upstairs and you have to leave before he wakes up. He asked me if there’s something he should know about and he even said something smells different. No idea why he has that sensitive nose, but he does, and I nearly lost it and he knows, Nate. He knows something’s wrong, because he’s Dad. He knows things and I can’t lie to him. I can’t do this—”
“Hey. Deep breaths.”
I inhale, then exhale harshly, staring at him from beneath my eyelashes. “I…I’m scared. I’m scared of making him mad or losing him after I’ve finally got him back. It’s a miracle that he’s home and has recovered so fast, and I can’t…I can’t think of losing him.”
“You won’t. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Really?”
“Have I ever made a promise and not kept it?”
“No, you haven’t.”
“Then trust me one final time.”
“Are you…going to talk to him?”
“It’s about time I do. I waited for him to recover, but I need to be the one who tells him before he goes back to battling with Susan and finds out on his own.”
“Yeah, okay. I get it.”
“We’re going to be realistic here, Gwyneth. He’s probably not going to take it well.”
“Oh, God. He’s…he’s going to be so mad.”
“He will. But I’ll take the heat of it.”
“How…how are you going to do that?”
“I’ll say I convinced you to go ahead with this marriage and you only went along with my plans.”
“But that’s not true. I agreed to this and I’m able to take responsibility for it. I told you to stop treating me like a damn kid, Nate.”
“It’s not about that.”
“Then what is it about?”
“You can’t afford to lose him. He’s your father and your only family.”
That brings tears to my eyes because the meaning behind his words hits me straight in my barely-beating heart. He knows how much Dad means to me, so in order for me not to lose him, he’ll risk losing him.
He’ll risk being tossed aside for me.
He’d rather be abandoned again than have me go through it.
And that hurts. Because he’s not supposed to take the fall for me when he doesn’t do feelings. When he stopped touching me instead of trying to fight for me.
“I’m going to take responsibility for my actions, Nate. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for a fuck buddy.”
A muscle jumps in his cheek and he tightens his jaw. I can tell he’s pining for patience, because he breathes heavily before he speaks. “That’s not what you are, so stop using those fucking terms, Gwyneth.”
“That’s what people my age call a sexual relationship. Fuck buddies. Isn’t that what we were?”
“If you were my fuck buddy, I wouldn’t have honored your demands whenever I saw you. I would’ve pushed you on all fours and fucked you. So no, you’re not a fuck buddy.”
My core tightens at the image he’s planted in my head. I swallow because my heart is taking it as a fake sign to get back to life.
My body is definitely joining in because I’ve missed him. I’ve missed being fucked by him and sleeping in his arms.
But my brain is smarter, because it’s in control and it won’t compromise anymore.
“Then what am I, Nate?”
“The most infuriating person on earth, that’s what you are.”
“Infuriating because I won’t let you touch me?”