And that’s when clarity stabs through me like a sharp knife.
I break the kiss and shove him away.
I’ve made such a huge mistake. I wasn’t really going to kiss him. I was going to toy with him and then be done with it. But Noah didn’t let it end there. He played dirty. He dug down to the very root of me and took a little nugget of truth he can tuck into the front pocket of his shirt and draw out whenever he feels like taunting me.
“God. You’re a jerk,” I hiss.
He looks like I just slapped him. “What?”
“How dare you…do that! Do you honestly have no moral compass at all?”
I’m already trying to shoulder my way through the crowd, but he tugs me back.
“What the hell are you talking about? You came on to me.”
We’re both spitting venom, and when I try to yank my arm free of his hold, he releases it like he just got burned.
“Yeah, and then you crossed the line,” I accuse. “I wasn’t really going to kiss you!”
I’ve never seen him look like this before. Furious, yes, but it’s more complicated than that. If I didn’t know better, I’d misread his crestfallen expression for real hurt.
But that’s all part of it too, isn’t it? He can’t laugh and admit his wrongdoing now.
He’s still in the game.
He just kissed me like I was his lifeblood. He made me believe it in my soul, just for that one perfect second.
I can imagine him breaking character and coming clean. Sinister glee twisting his features into something wicked. But those eyes don’t change. That hurt, however fleeting, doesn’t turn into triumph. It turns into exhaustion.
“Tell the others I’m heading back to the school,” he says before turning and weaving his way through the crowd toward the front door, never once looking back.
I’m mad at him for leaving before I could. I don’t want the task of returning to our table to mop up the mess we’ve just created.
My stomach growls as if to say, Hi! Crap timing, I know, ha ha, but you do remember that you still need to feed me, right?
But I’m not ordering anything here.
I have a mission, and once I complete it, I’m gone.
I figure there are two scenarios I’ll find when I make it back to the table. Either Lorenzo and Gabriella saw Noah and me kissing and are deeply confused and possibly upset with us, or they just want some food and they’ll be deeply confused and possibly upset with us once they find out we didn’t actually order anything in all that time we were away.
Oddly enough, when I spot them in the crowd, they aren’t drumming their fingers on the table, making awkward conversation in our absence. Gabriella scooted into my seat on the bench and has her head tilted toward Lorenzo. He’s talking and she’s laughing and from the looks of it, they’re really hitting it off. She says something he must like because he reaches out and touches her hand. Then he doesn’t take it away.
Right.
Well.
That’s convenient.
“Hey guys.”
They both jerk in surprise then look up at me with guilt in their eyes. Gabriella scoots away from Lorenzo, trying to put some space between them.
I wave to let her know not to bother. “I don’t…whatever is or isn’t happening here, that’s…listen, Noah just left because…well, I don’t know exactly, but I’m gonna leave too.”
Wow, so this is what it would sound like if I lost half my brain cells.
They both have the decency to look worried.
“Is he all right?” Gabriella asks, her gaze flitting toward the door. “Should I go check on him?”
She doesn’t sound too enthusiastic about it. I can tell she’s only offering because she knows it’s the right thing to do.
“No. You two stay. Please. Enjoy, um…I was going to say the food, but we didn’t actually order. Sorry about that.” I’m starting to back away as if hoping to vanish into thin air, but then I pause and lean back in, gesturing between them. “I don’t know how to put this in a way that doesn’t seem awkward, so I’m just going to flat-out say it. You two seem to have a lot in common, and if you’re interested in each other, go for it. Lorenzo, I’m not…in a good place, apparently. I realize that now and I’m sorry. And Gabriella, I can’t speak for Noah, but…”
I decide that’s as good a place as any to stop talking. They meet each other’s eyes, and I just know the second I walk away from this weird interaction, they’re going to have a lot to say.