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Every Last Fear(73)

Author:Alex Finlay

* * *

Matt made it to the Knoll with five minutes to spare. He was sweaty, worried that he smelled from the run, but he was cooling off in the breeze. It was warmer tonight, but otherwise a lot like that night when he was in ninth grade: the leaves rustling overhead, the only light from the moon, which was intermittently covered by clouds. The same pounding in his chest. He wasn’t an innocent boy anymore, of course. He’d kissed his share of girls since then. But none had sent fire through him like Jessica Wheeler. He was glamorizing it all, he was sure. Why was it, he wondered, that we do that? Rosy up memories and make them idealized versions of what really happened.

He stood at the center of the opening in the trees, imagining Jessica all those years ago appearing from the forest, holding a flashlight, wearing pajama bottoms and a tight sleep shirt. He reminded himself that he knew nothing of this girl—this woman—now. They were likely very different people. He’d spent his formative years in Chicago, college in New York. She’d stayed in Adair, apparently working at Pipe Layers. It had been only seven years, but that was a full third of their lives. But something about the way she’d pushed through the crowd at the bar, fearlessly taken charge and broken up the altercation, gave him the same rush he’d had in ninth grade.

Matt scanned the area and didn’t see her. Maybe she’d thought better of it. Or it was a prank. Or worse, someone luring him up there to get some payback for the documentary’s hit job on the town. But he’d never told anyone of that night, and only Jessica knew about the note.

A light appeared from the woods.

Jessica ambled over to him. “You came.”

She clicked the flashlight off and they stood there. In the silver haze he saw the girl from science class. The delicate heart-shaped face. She was older, her hair longer, more stylish. She was still about an inch shorter than Matt. They’d grown at the same pace. And those lips … Matt needed to snap out of it.

The words were caught in his throat for some reason, so he just nodded.

“Sorry for the sneaking around,” Jessica said. “You’re not the most popular guy in the world after that TV show. And I have a business to run.…”

That explained it. She didn’t want to be seen with him. Wonderful. “You run the bar? I thought you just—”

“… worked there as a dumb cocktail waitress?”

“I didn’t mean—”

“I’m just playing with you,” she said. “After my brother’s accident, I had to put college on hold. Ricky couldn’t take over the place when my uncle got sick. Stanford let me defer for a while, but I think that ship has sailed. The bar does pretty well, though. There’s not much to do in Adair. But, as you can see, the hours suck.”

“Stanford, wow.”

“I wanted to get as far away as possible. See how that worked out?”

“For both of us.”

“Come on,” she said, “you can walk me home.”

Matt followed her down the hill and to the worn path until they reached the large circular patch of grass and dirt everyone called the Hub. From there they took a dirt road that led to her childhood home. He was going to ask if she could still possibly live in the same house, but he thought better of it. He knew the answer and did not want to make her say it. They walked shoulder to shoulder along the narrow road.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Jessica said.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, you haven’t exactly received a warm reception.”

Matt released a noise of agreement.

“I’m sorry about my brother,” she said. “He hasn’t been the same since the accident. He gets confused. And he doesn’t have many friends, so he shows off for those assholes who only hang out with him for the free drinks he sneaks them when I’m not looking.”

Matt nodded. “What happened to him?”

“Car wreck. Mangled more than his body. Traumatic brain injury. You wouldn’t notice the TBI at first, but if you talk to him for a while…”

Matt gave her a sympathetic look. As a girl she’d been sweet, empathetic. It was what had attracted him. And by the sound of it, putting her life on hold to care for her brother, taking over the family business, she hadn’t changed.

“So why’d you call me out here?” Matt asked, examining her profile in the pale light.

This time it was Jessica who blushed. “I don’t know.”

“Sure you do.”

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