“To say I’m sorry, I guess.”
“Sorry for what?”
“I wasn’t exactly a good friend after what happened with your brother.”
Matt thought about this. For the first time, he remembered that Jessica had ghosted him after Danny’s arrest. Avoided him at school. Not returned his calls. How was it possible he’d forgotten? He had such vivid memories of that night. The itchiness of the grass on his back as they lay watching the stars. The feel of her hand holding his as they walked this very path. The way she tucked her hair behind her ear in the prelude to the kiss.
After Danny’s arrest it was a montage of misery, with lots of gaps in the timeline: his parents fighting. The sound of his father sobbing behind the closed bathroom door. The reporters outside the house. The receiver of the landline phone in the kitchen dangling off the hook. The whispers and stares whenever they went into town. The moving van. Maybe forgetting was a defense mechanism. Blocking out the unpleasantness.
Matt had a troubling thought: maybe that was why Danny couldn’t remember anything about the night Charlotte was killed. Blocking out what he did.
Jessica looked down at the grass. “If I could go back in time, I’d tell my mom I could be friends with whoever I wanted. I’d be stronger, a better friend. I saw the pain you were in, and I should’ve—”
“You don’t need to apologize.”
“But I do.”
“Okay, you just did.” He smiled. “And I can honestly say I’ve never given it another thought.”
They continued down the road, the sound of their footfalls filling the silence. “I’m so sorry about your family,” Jessica finally said.
Matt nodded, still not sure how to respond to the condolences. As if acknowledging the tragedy made it real.
“How long are you in town?” she asked, trying to evade the awkward moment.
“I’m not sure. The funeral is Sunday. I’ll probably leave soon after that, depending on whether my aunt needs anything.”
“Cindy is a character. I was surprised you weren’t staying with her.”
“I’m deathly allergic to cats. All my friends from New York are staying at the Adair Motel, so it made sense.” The truth was that his aunt was best taken in small doses, so the cats were a convenient excuse.
Jessica nodded as if she remembered his severe cat allergy, but he suspected she didn’t. Matt flashed to a memory of himself as a young boy, visiting a family friend, gasping for air, wheezing, his mother running the shower, rubbing his back, telling him to breathe in the steam.
“A bunch of reporters were at the bar last night, complaining about the motel. I heard them talking, saying even more are on the way. The national newspeople.”
“Not surprising. They love the Danny Pine show.” The never-ending fascination was an ongoing curiosity to Matt.
“You aren’t kidding. They asked me a bunch of questions, but I said I didn’t know anything.”
“Like what?”
“You know, stuff about all the conspiracy theories.”
Matt looked at her, gave a small shake of the head. He was probably the only person in the country who hadn’t kept up with the case. The vast conspiracies from the talking heads and internet detectives, grown men and women with too much time on their hands.
“They asked if I’d ever seen any of the Hayes family in town, if I thought they’d have a reason to hurt your family.” The Smasher’s family. Matt had watched the documentary—just once, which was enough—but he’d never forget that sinister brood.
Jessica went on, “One of the reporters had super-weird ques tions. Asked if I’d heard rumors that Charlotte was still alive, that she faked her death to get away from her dad. Or was taken by sex traffickers.”
Matt snorted. “The tabloids…”
“He said he was with the Chicago Tribune.”
Matt shook his head in disgust.
“They wanted to talk with Ricky, but I wouldn’t let them.”
“Why would they want to talk to your brother?”
“Didn’t you watch the documentary? Ricky was the one who identified the Unknown Partygoer.”
Matt had no recollection of that. More memory gaps. “If he identified the U.P., which helps my brother’s case, then why did he say those things tonight about—”
“I told you, he gets confused.”
When he saw the yellow glow of her house’s porchlight in the distance, Matt experienced a moment of déjà vu.