“Pourquoi la vie est-elle si cruelle?” Why is life so cruel? I ask him, my eyes glazing.
“Is that French?” My oblivious waitress asks busy with her task of trying, in vain, to right everything in my tilted world, “It’s beautiful.”
“How much do I owe? Because I don’t think I can afford to pay much more,” I ask somberly, addressing the man in front of me.
“Nothing, honey. I’ll take care of it. You didn’t eat.”
Tobias swallows, clear conflicted emotion in his eyes as I open my purse and place some cash on the newly covered table, my gaze still locked on his.
“I’ll get your change.” She says, taking the offered cash and glancing between us, her face sobering as we stare off into our past.
I shake my head. “All yours.”
She thanks me and leaves us standing and staring. And that’s what we do as the seconds pass, getting our first good look at each other as the haze of hurts we’ve been harboring finally clears and for the first time, see the other past it.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come, but I just wanted to see…” A lone tear slides down my cheek as I fail to gather myself and shake my head. I glance down at the book and fold his fingers around the charred pages. I give a self-deprecating laugh as tears cloud my vision again, and I admit my greatest truth.
“Je suppose que je serai toujours la fille qui pleure à la lune.” I guess I’ll always be the girl crying for the moon.”
Tobias is still standing at my deserted table with the book in his hand when I push out of the doors and into the freezing wind.
I shoot up in bed, my latest dream leaving me exhausted as my limbs protest, remaining heavy with sleep. Attempting to clear the haze, I see the tell-tale double flash of lightning out of the French doors.
The thunder must have woke me.
Breaths evening out, I try to remember the dream and am thankful when I come up empty. But the air around me, the heat in my cheeks, the fast breaths coming from me make it clear it wasn’t harmless.
My dreams seldom are. I’ve failed in every way to free myself of them.
Pound. Pound. Pound.
That’s not thunder.
Leaping from the mattress, I search the room around me and come up empty.
Now isn’t then, Cecelia. Get the door.
Rattled, I slip on my robe and grab my gun from my purse, trying to shake myself free of the fear.
Now isn’t then, Cecelia.
The longer I stay, the distinction of past and present are becoming clearer, and I’m relatively safe. I’ll never be the girl incapable of fighting or attempting to save myself again. I’ve been an armed woman since I left Triple Falls. Collin and I got into a ton of fights over my selection of small guns. I always won.
Pound. Pound. Pound.
Rain batters the house, washing the new snow away as I keep my gun lowered, padding down the staircase.
Ding. Dong. Ding. Dong.
“Dominic, no!”
I inhale a calming breath as I reach the front door and look out to see headlights shining through sheets of rain. I can’t make out the car.
I scream out as the bang sounds again, and he hears me.
“Open the fucking door, Cecelia.”
I flip on the porch light as the hairs on my neck rise. He pounds once again, and I open it to see Tobias drenched from the rain, his eyes glossy, his expression stone. He’s dressed in the suit he was wearing at dinner, the tie around his neck pulled loose and hanging, his glossy dark locks drenched.
His eyes drink me in pausing on the gown he bought me years ago before he takes an aggressive step forward, and then another, until I’m backed against the foyer table, my hand outstretched behind me for support.
He glances down at the gun in my hand and in one swift move, slaps it out of my grip. It slides across the floor and lands with the barrel pointed against the wall.
“You idiot! The safety was off!”
“You’re unarmed now, and that’s what you’re worried about?” He staggers forward, his posture searing with intimidation. He’s been drinking, and he’s furious.
“You won’t hurt me.”
“Won’t I?”
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
“You happened. Why haven’t you left?”
“Why does it matter? I’m not doing anything to you. I’m not bothering you.”
“Your presence bothers me!”
He’s soaked through, the water dripping down his profile. I lift my chin.
“Tough shit.”
He glares down at me as the sky lights up behind him, and thunder rolls in the distance.