He hasn’t slept, his jacket and tie are nowhere to be seen, his shirt is wrinkled and unbuttoned. He looks as defeated as I feel. He opens his mouth to speak, but I stop him.
“I let you because I always have. It was a decision. I wanted it. Maybe I was waiting for it, Jesus, I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. I’m leaving.”
He swallows, and I see the faint dip of his chin.
Once upon a time, I was a lonely girl who met a lonely king, and we both suffered from too much pride and oh, how the reckless have fallen. Between my romantic notions and his aspirations, we deceived ourselves, and all I feel now is sorrow.
Sorrow for the three orphans that were left to battle it out for themselves due to their parents’ mistakes.
And that’s why I’m here, to address the boy inside the man and give him the explanation he rightfully deserves. But how in the hell am I going to convey this to him? Tell him that he built an empire based on a lie? That our lives collided because two people fell in love, and one of them made a mistake, which started a war, a war that has everything to do with me.
“I have to tell you something.”
Tobias studies me closely, and I know my face is paling. As much as I resent him, the guilt is riddling me.
“I…” I shake my head furiously and pull the envelope from my purse.
“Cecelia.” An order.
The words burst from my lips. “My mother started the fire that killed your parents. It was an accident. A horrible accident.”
I watch him carefully for a reaction, and he doesn’t so much as flinch. Instead, his eyes fill with curiosity. “How do you know that?”
“I found a letter from my mother to Roman.” I hold it out to him. “I went to Georgia yesterday and spoke to her. It’s all here, her confession. It was written a few months before I moved to Triple Falls. This letter is the reason I was here in the first place. It’s the truth, and you deserve it.”
He lifts the letter and studies it briefly before placing it on his desk.
“You aren’t going to read it?”
“No.”
“Then you should know Roman did it because she was—”
“I know.”
I’m shaking so hard it takes me a second to understand his reply.
“Wait, you what?”
“I know. Roman told me the day I met him.”
“The day you met him…you knew?” Anger slashes through me, and I cough incredulously, refusing to shed another tear. “And you didn’t think to share that with me?”
“It was one of the conditions of our deal.”
“Your deal?”
My purse slackens on my shoulder as my posture slumps from the crash of adrenaline. “You son of a bitch,” I rip my eyes away and walk toward his office window, staring out for several seconds while I try to wrap myself around it. “Damn you, I’ve been sick trying to figure out a way to confess this to you.” I turn back to see he’s close.
“Feel better?” He offers a weak smile.
“Jesus, Tobias. I didn’t think I could hate you, but…” I fight every surfacing emotion.
“You should. You should have all along.”
“But I didn’t.” I feel numb. Close to numb, but he’ll never win in completely desecrating my heart. It’s the one thing I’ve kept despite all the loss, hurt, and betrayal. It’s the one thing my father never allowed himself to give over entirely, and that Tobias battles to keep out of reach from everyone who’s loved him, especially me. But it’s not because he doesn’t love me, it’s because he can’t lose me. I can’t be another casualty in his war with life.
That’s what broke us.
History is painfully repeating itself.
And I saw it the minute it happened, the second he snapped. It was the look on his face when I held his dead brother in my arms. Equivalent to that of Roman seeing a loaded gun pointed at his infant daughter.
The look he gave me before he walked away from me was one of utter resolution.
Love will never win with men like Roman and Tobias.
He would rather lose me in life than risk my death, my blood on his hands.
It’s the coward’s way out. His resignation to leave his heart out of it. To leave me out of it.
But I’ll never let mine grow cold despite the damage done or the havoc it’s wreaked. And for that one victory, I’m thankful the blood still runs crimson, still beats faithfully in my chest. I study him carefully and can’t find a single trace of resentment.