This is too much. I’ve curled up with Zack plenty of times, and I suppose I must have sat squashed next to Josh in a car, or something. But I’ve never been jammed between them like this. It’s doing things to my insides. My belly feels heavy.
I glance around the pub. Can people tell we’re on a date? They must be able to, right? This isn’t how friends usually sit.
God. I can’t catch my breath. My throat is tight and dry. I’m hot all over.
“Okay?” Josh murmurs, looking at me strangely.
“Yeah.” I squeeze my thighs together and clear my throat. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I need to pull myself together. “So… what do we do now?”
“Now,” Zack says, “we get you another drink.”
ELEVEN
LAYLA
“You know what my problem is?” I ask, half an hour later. After a glass of wine and some aggressive cuddling from Zack, I’m feeling a lot more relaxed. Tucked between my two best friends under the dim red light of the bar, I feel warm and safe. Safe enough to talk about things I’ve never spoken about before. “I am too defensive with men,” I admit. “I don’t trust guys when they flirt with me. I don’t trust them when they show interest in me, or touch me, or try to get me in bed. It makes me angry to be flirted with. It makes me want to run away. I just hate every part of it.”
“Okay,” Josh says slowly, running his finger over my hand. My skin tingles as he absentmindedly strokes the inside of my wrist. “Why?”
I consider, leaning against his side. His cool, minty scent drifts into my lungs, calming me. “I can’t believe that they actually care about me. I always feel like they just want to use me.”
Josh stills. “Why? Has that happened to you before?”
I hesitate, then shake my head. “Nope. Never had a boyfriend, remember?” His laser eyes burn into mine, like he can see the lie in my face. I turn back to my drink. “I don’t know why I think that way. But whenever a guy flirts with me, I just freeze up. It happens every time.”
“Okay.” Josh pulls away from me, straightening. “Let’s practice. I’m sure you just need to get more comfortable.”
I perk up. “Really?”
“Really. Let’s do some role play. Imagine you saw me at a bar and wanted to hit on me. Zack will watch and give you pointers.”
“Okay. Good idea.” I stand up.
“Wait!” Zack says, grabbing my hand. “Don’t forget your costume.”
I squint at him. “What?”
He nods at the front of my jacket. “We’re doing a bar date role play. So go on. Get your tits out.”
I stare at him for a second. He grins back. I pluck an ice cube out of my water glass, grab his collar, and drop it down his back.
He yowls, his body arching as he tries to shake it out of his clothes. “Jesus! No need to attack me! I’m just trying to make it realistic!”
“You’re such a knob,” I say, trying not to smile as he finally bats away the ice cube. “Get into position, then.” I shuffle out of the booth.
“Nerd,” Zack mutters under his breath, as Josh turns back to his drink. I take a few steps back, fluff up my hair, and then brace myself, walking back up to the table.
“Hi,” I say, a bit too loudly. Josh looks up. Immediately, his eyes fix on me, flicking down my front. My pulse starts to beat a little harder in my throat.
“Hi,” he says softly. “Can I help you with something?”
His voice sounds different. Warmer and deeper. Is this what he sounds like when he’s flirting? My cheeks immediately heat.
“Are you… um, here alone tonight?” I manage.
He leans back in his seat, considering me. “Currently.”
“That’s pretty embarrassing.”
“I know. I’m mortified. Save me from the shame and let me buy you a drink.”
“Like a date?” I ask, then immediately curse myself. I sound like a middle-schooler talking to her crush.
Josh looks amused. “If you like.” He taps the leather booth next to him. “C’mon. Save me from a night of drinking alone.”
I sit, then hesitate, floundering for something to say. “I, um…”
“Just be honest,” Zack advises quietly. “You’re thinking too hard. Say whatever comes into your head.”
“Well, I have to warn you,” I tell Josh, “It might be a waste of your time. I’ve been on 120 first dates. They’ve never worked out.”