“God.” I give up and pull away from him, sagging in my seat. “I’m terrible,” I mutter. “This isn’t going to work. I’m useless.”
I should just focus on my work. Maybe one day, I’ll be rich enough to buy a husband.
Zack sits up, his usual easygoing grin swiping off his face. “Stop,” he rumbles. “Don’t talk about yourself like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re not the biggest catch in the bloody room.” His voice is stern. “You wanna know what I see when I look at you?” I don’t say anything. He tugs at my hair. “Gorgeous hair. Gorgeous eyes. Killer smile, when you actually let yourself do it.”
“You’re telling me to smile?” I ask, my voice hitching as he drags his big hand down to my waist. “Where’d you learn that line? The builders across the road?”
He shakes his head firmly. “You’re right. No smilin’。 You’d probably start a stampede. Keep your smiles for me.” His hand slides down my hip. I swallow as he gives my bum a squeeze. “You’re smart. You’re driven. You have the best backside I ever saw. You’re an absolute knockout, babe. So what if you’re shy? If people judge you for that, they don’t deserve you.”
Josh nods. “He’s right, L. It’s okay for you to be awkward. Just accept it. Don’t freak out and go cold when you can’t think of what to say.”
I sigh. “Okay.” I reach for my notebook, but Josh puts his hand on mine, stopping me.
“You don’t need that,” he says quietly.
I look down at his big, tanned hand on mine, then glance back up at him. His dark eyes drink me in.
For the first time in a long time, I really look at my two best friends. I see what every other girl in this pub is seeing.
I know they’re both attractive. When I first moved in, I was shocked at how hot they were. Josh, with his angular features, square shoulders, and inky black hair. Zack with his huge Viking frame, long blonde hair and easy grin. I’m not blind, but after I slowly became friends with them, I didn’t let myself think of them like that anymore. I haven’t had real friends since I was a kid. I didn’t want to mess it up.
“You’re not a smooth person,” Josh continues, curling his thumb into my palm. “That’s fine. Not everyone is. We live in a society that idealises hyper-confident extroverts, but really, they’re no better than people who are awkward or quiet or introverted. They just have a different set of skills. You don’t have to pretend you’re anything you’re not.”
“Aye,” Zack agrees, leaning closer. His warm breath fans over my face. “I personally find your inability to speak very charming.”
“Um. Thanks.” I shiver as he tucks some hair behind my ear. “Are we flirting, too, now?”
His eyes twinkle. “You’re blushin’， buttercup, so I would say yes.” He trails a finger over my cheek. “I’m getting jealous. It’s my turn to make you go pink.” Suddenly, our faces are very close. I can see all the pale blonde lashes framing his bright blue eyes.
He’s close enough to kiss.
Nerves burst up in my stomach, and I turn quickly back to my drink. I haven’t kissed somebody in years. I’ll probably be crap at it. I’ve already embarrassed myself enough in front of the guys for one night.
I guess my thoughts must show up on my face, because Josh leans in, reading my expression. “You okay?”
“Hm?”
He touches the side of my face. “You look overwhelmed. We can give you a breather, if you want. Go outside, or whatever.”
I open my mouth, then close it again.
Honestly, I am overwhelmed. Sitting here, sandwiched between them, is more than I can handle. Josh’s gaze stays fixed on me as Zack leans closer, brushing a kiss over my temple. There’s a sudden hot throb between my thighs.
Oh, God.
I’ll take this secret to the grave, but this, right here, is what gets me off more than anything else. The idea of being shared. I don’t know why, but there’s something about being pinned between two guys that is sending my ovaries into overdrive. It feels safe, and warm, and… hot. I can’t think straight. My heart is going so fast I can barely get a breath in. This is the kind of scenario that I think about when I’m in bed at night. My wildest, most secret fantasy. But in my daydreams, the guys have never had faces. They’ve certainly never been my best friends.