An invitation.
Another decision.
I follow, shut the door, strip bare and join him. He draws me to him, kissing me for long minutes. Back in his room, we’re silent when we towel off and I pull on one of his T-shirts before slipping into bed, into his waiting arms.
“Please understand, there was no other way,” he murmurs into my neck, pulling me snugly into his body. He’s hard, but he doesn’t act on it, he just keeps me firmly tucked into him, weakening me with his scent.
I should feel betrayed, but I do understand the ‘why’ of how he introduced me to it. And now I also understand that if I’m in, I’ll have to become a lot better at lying, and if I can’t keep a secret, it will cost me a lot more than a broken heart.
SEAN SLEEPS NEXT TO ME, passing out just minutes after his head hit the pillow. I lie in his hold restless, my thoughts running rampant.
This could cost me my future.
One misstep, being implicated in any of their shady dealings could cost me my life.
Is becoming tangled up with them worth it?
What kind of future can we have?
This isn’t a phase for them that they’ll outgrow, this is their way of life. Their purpose. Do I want to be anchored to it by a relationship that may or may not work out?
It’s insane, this decision, this choice. One I never thought in a million years I would be faced with.
It distorts the natural order of things. This is a no picket fence life.
But somewhere, deep down I knew, I knew something was off—way off and clearly dangerous. I just didn’t realize how off, how dangerous. In a delusional way, I assumed it wouldn’t affect me.
The more I fall, the more entangled I become, and if I’m not careful, if I don’t choose out, I’ll be shackled in by new secrets.
But I’m leaving. In a year, I am leaving. That’s a definite. I’m not going to skip college or throw away my chances at a higher education for anyone.
How much can really happen in a year?
Tyler’s words the day we met come into mind.
“Crazy where a day can take you, huh? That’s nothing unusual around here.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” I whisper into Sean’s hair. I need to sleep on this. My decision doesn’t have to be made today. I can distance myself until I’ve made it. I’ve got the willpower.
Liar.
I run my fingers through Sean’s hair, and he groans lightly in his sleep in thanks, making me smile.
Sleep evades me, and I untangle from Sean and toss the covers off when I hear the distinct sound of an engine pull up in the drive. Padding down the stairs I find Dominic at the kitchen table, wrestling a small plastic-wrapped package with a freshly uncapped beer next to it.
“Is it broken?”
He looks up from where he sits, eyes sweeping me before getting back to his task. I approach him and take the thick gauze from his hand and gently examine his injury. Both his wrist and hand are twice their normal size.
“Ouch. Could be broken.”
“I can bend it.”
“You okay?”
“Shitty night,” he grabs his beer from the table and takes a long pull.
“Where’s Tyler?” I ask, starting on his bandage.
“He’s indisposed.”
“Did something else happen?”
“He’s good. Business as usual.”
“Just a party, right?” I can feel his eyes on me as I carefully layer the material snuggly against his skin. “Tell me if it’s too tight.”
“Why are you going along with this?”
I pause and meet his silvery depths, which threaten to pull me under and dart my eyes away. When I make my decision, I need to be far away from the two distractions that will only make it harder to step away. “I’m not sure if I am yet.”
“I didn’t think you were the type.”
“I’m not, it’s just as surprising to me, if you want the truth.”
“Always.”
One side of my mouth lifts as I carefully wrap his wrist and hand. “Says the deviant liar.”
“Some people can’t handle the truth,” he drains the rest of his beer. “It’s best to let them count sheep.”
“Always so cryptic.”
“You’re smart enough to decipher truth from fiction.”
I pause my hands. “I’m not so sure after tonight, but that’s a rare compliment coming from you.”
“I don’t let my dick get in the way of my judgment.”
Our gazes hold for long seconds as I draw more conclusions. They both made the decision to bring me in tonight. Together. It has nothing to do with our sexual relationship. The feelings that stir because of that make my heart sing.