That no longer irritates me.
I have fully come to accept that it’s better for her to be a nightmare to these men than to try and make friends with them, to play the docile and neutered monster who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Besides, we’ve got more than enough friends, and those we do have are proving to be a handful.
“Good lord, not this early in the morning! I can't deal with that smart mouth.”
I glance over to see Vivian walking towards us, his mouth downturned as he greets us, although there's a twinkle in his eyes as he stares Oli down. She grins back up at him, truly happy, and then, of course, she opens that smart mouth of hers and starts in on him.
“You should be happy with my dedication. I’m no longer a college student bound by unfair rules. I could choose to walk home at any time, and yet here I am, learning restraint and the proper way to kill our enemies. You're welcome.”
He rolls his eyes and another man approaches us. He's tall and wider than Vivian, and he is easily more muscular than even I am. He has a stern look on his face, but he looks at Oli with interest.
“An honest-to-God Soul Render. I never thought I'd see it.”
“I go by she/her, not it, but lovely to meet you. I'm assuming you’re Unser. I've heard a lot about you,” Oli says, tuning her sass down just a little at the end as the much larger man looms over her. He’s not trying to intimidate her or threaten her in any way, he’s just looking over every inch of her, like he’s trying to see some sign of her Gift etched into her skin.
Gryphon looks between them and then back to Unser. “This is Oleander Fallows, our Central Bonded. And, yes, she is a Soul Render. She’s the reason that the Sanctuary was cleared of the Resistance last week.”
Jesus Christ was it only last week that I’d had the greatest night of my life followed by one of the worst mornings in existence?
I share a look with Oli and see the same disbelief in her face that so much could have possibly happened in such a short amount of time. Yet, we’re still no closer to getting rid of Davies and the rest of his band of sadistic followers.
Unser holds out a hand and starts ticking off fingers. “A Soul Render, two Death Dealers, a Neuro with unmatched powers, an unlimited Shifter, and… what exactly are you?”
Oli’s hand slips into mine as I answer, “Strong enough to move a semi, and completely indestructible.”
He looks me up and down slowly and then says, “I guess we’ll see about that, won’t we? War is good at testing limits, kid.”
Chapter Nineteen
Oli
I wake up safe and sound in my bed between Gabe and North, the nightmare still clinging to my mind, a cold sweat drenching my body and my heart beating so hard that I feel as though it's trying to crack my ribs open and escape my chest.
“I’m gonna puke,” I say out loud as I scramble over bodies, not really caring where my limbs are ending up, and lurching towards the bathroom.
I don't bother shutting the door, mostly because I know I'm not going to be alone for long. Even though it's incredibly shameful to be puking my guts up in front of them all, I know it’s inevitable. As I vomit uncontrollably, a cold, wet washcloth presses over my forehead and my hair is twisted away from my face. Another set of strong hands strokes down my back in a comforting gesture, soothing me as the retching continues until I’m a shaking and miserable mess.
I don't know what the nightmare was about.
I don't have any clear memories of any of it, only the fear clinging to my bones and the way that my stomach revolts against it all. My bond doesn't register that I'm in any danger, but it’s quiet in my chest, a grave, solemn sort of quiet.
It knows what the nightmare was about.
“What happened, my Bonded?” North murmurs to me as the retching finally stops, and he reaches over to pull me into his chest.
Gabe flushes the toilet and grabs the washcloth again to wipe my face down before moving away. Atlas stands by the door, clutching the frame and staring at me as though he's seen a ghost, but I tuck my head under North’s chin and cling to him as the panic slowly recedes out of my veins.
“It was a nightmare. I don't know. I don't know—” I stop as my voice cracks, and I press my face into his neck again, tucking myself into him even more.
I'm probably hurting him, clinging so hard, but his arms are like bands of steel around me as he pulls me in closer, as though he would happily tuck me inside of his skin if he could.
I try to take in his strength, but all I feel is hollow… and terrified.