Ronald pushed the box of tissues on his desk closer to her reach.
“I just don’t understand.” Ella swallowed her sobs.
“It’s not that you don’t understand, it’s that you don’t like it.”
Ella looked at him, confused.
Ronald realized how sarcastic he had sounded. This was their fourth meeting, and he saw that it wasn’t an act with her, as it was with so many women. This woman was actually softhearted, and he had to resist his instincts to protect the weak. In a divorce, the lawyer had no choice but to be wary even of his own client.
“You should never say you don’t understand when you do. He is asking for joint custody. There isn’t anything you don’t understand about that concept. You are a smart young woman. What you really mean to say is that you don’t like what he is doing; you hate it, in fact; or you disagree with it. When you tell me what you feel and what you want, then I, as your advocate, will know how to take action. Women cannot sit around while their worlds are falling apart around their ears and say they don’t understand.”
Ella nodded. She tried to look braver. Ronald’s gaze was so forceful that it felt invasive. He was scaring her.
“Ella. . .” He spoke gently, as if she were waking from a dream. “Ted’s actions are fairly commonplace in this stage of divorce. He also knows you well, and he will do what will tactically surprise you. Does Ted usually get what he wants?” This was a rhetorical question, because he knew the answer already.
“Yes,” Ella said, thinking of all the times she’d given in to him because it took too much to fight him.
“Well, he will play this the way he has played all the other games he has won. Think about it. He will not change his playbook until it fails him. Do you understand that?”
“Yes. But I don’t like it.”
Ronald smiled. He liked cleverness. “Tell me why you don’t like it.”
“I don’t like it because Ted always wins, and I always let him. He will fight harder, he will fight unfairly, and he will not give up. Ted is. . . You don’t know what he’s like.”
“Oh, I have a vague idea. He’s a winner profile, and they can be. . . tough customers.” As a practice, Ronald avoided name-calling the other side.
Ella looked away, unable to imagine losing Irene half the time to a man who was never home. Would he know that Irene liked tofu mashed up in her rice and that broccoli gave her gas?
“You mustn’t get discouraged, because even winners lose, Ella. And whenever you lost to Ted, you decided to lose, and that isn’t really losing.”
Ella turned back to him. Was he telling her there was hope?
“It’s like this: I’ve met the Teds of the world, and they’re fine.” Ronald shrugged. “But I also know that despite every study, every seemingly accurate tactic, there are surprises in these kinds of battles, because you are no longer fighting about things, but you are fighting about people and deeply rooted feelings. So in my line of work, there are a lot of surprises. And believe me, I am not a man who likes surprises.”
“Okay,” she said glumly with the disappointment of a child.
“Custody is the principal issue on the table, and it serves as a strategic weapon for Ted.” Ronald checked her eyes to see if she appreciated the gravity of what he was saying. It wasn’t that she appeared dense to him per se, but she still had that look of shock that in his experience took certain people anywhere from a year to five years to wear off. All men and women who’d been divorced aged in a different way. It helped if you were the one leaving, and it helped if you were leaving the unhappiness for someone you loved. Ronald’s first wife had never remarried after he left her. Her shock took many years to lose, and for that, he was admittedly ashamed.
“Are you saying that he would use Irene to get what he wants?”
“Of course.”
“I can’t believe that. Ted isn’t an evil person.”
“I didn’t say he was an evil person. He is just doing what serves him. We should feel lucky that he didn’t ask for full custody.”
Ella looked as though she’d been hit.
Ronald opened his eyes wide, like a professor who had finally reached a student. “Good. Good. You get it.”
“He couldn’t possibly—”
“Sure he could. He could do whatever he wants. Anyway, he could use custody to make you give up some of your rights to certain marital property, to pay less support, whatever. Money doesn’t appear to be the issue at this moment, but many wealthy men can be ungenerous.” Ronald had figured out from the lawyer Ted had hired （often an accurate reflection of the client’s character） that Ted must be a true son of a bitch—Chet Stenor was a hungry dog from beginning to end.