Keith wrapped his hands around the back of his neck. “We’re exactly as good as two people should be who just left the body of a perfectly nice girl in a disgusting barn.”
“That sounds . . . traumatizing.”
“It was, and probably best not to talk about it.” Derrick reached over and gave my hand a quick squeeze. I managed a small smile. “Where is everybody else?”
“Yeah, there was, um, a bit of a situation with Peter,” I began.
“Situation?” Keith asked. “What does that mean?”
“He seems to have told the contractors about what happened with Crystal,” I said. “And now they’re demanding more money or they’ll go to the police.”
“What?” Derrick stepped closer.
“Yeah,” I said. “Only that she’d OD’d, not that we moved her. It’s still definitely not great. We’ll pay them and hope for the best.”
Keith shook his head. “Holy shit.”
“Is it crazy if the three of us go right now?” I said. “I mean, back to the city. There’s no reason for all of us to stay, under the circumstances.” I eyed Derrick meaningfully and motioned at Keith. “We could even, you know, make a stop on the way.”
Derrick nodded, seeming to get my reference to Bright Horizons, despite the fact that it was hours in the opposite direction and the chances of a Saturday check-in were slim. “That’s a good point.”
“Wait, where did that come from?” Keith was pointing to the fireplace mantel as he headed over, at an empty picture frame.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I didn’t see it there before.”
Keith picked up the frame and studied it in silence before finally walking toward the staircase, the frame still in his hands. “I’m just going to, um, go take a shower.”
“Shower?” I asked. “Keith, we’re going to leave.”
Keith shook his head. “No,” he said. “I can’t. Not yet.”
“Sure you can,” Derrick said. “Jonathan told me before that you agreed to Bright Horizons. We’ll take you there. Everything is going to be fine.”
Keith nodded. “Yeah, maybe,” he said. “There’s just something I need to— I just need a minute to figure something out.”
“A minute?” Derrick asked.
“Time,” Keith said, still staring at the picture frame as he started up the steps. “I’ll do what you guys want, whatever you want. Just give me a little while, okay? I need to think.”
“No, not okay, Keith,” Derrick called after him. “You need to go to rehab. There’s nothing to think about.”
“No, no, not about that,” Keith said with a shake of his head. He paused, looked at us. “I need to talk to Finch first. That’s all. There’s been a miscommunication about something. I need to work it out with him before I go anywhere. I don’t want him firing me while I’m gone.”
“You’re sure that’s all it is?” I asked. The look on his face was just so stunned, frightened almost.
“Yeah.” Keith looked first at me, then Derrick. “That’s all it is. I’m sure.”
And with that he disappeared up the steps, empty picture frame still in his hand.
“Maybe this is good,” Derrick said.
“Good?”
Derrick shrugged. “When we were out at the Farm, it definitely seemed like maybe Keith had finally hit rock bottom.”
“Rock bottom is great,” I said. “As long as the rest of us don’t get stuck down there with him.”
It was impossible not to think of Alice. In those days right after the roof, she’d been completely manic, obsessed with figuring out who the guy from the roof was, making sure his family knew he wasn’t some thief. She wanted to make amends. But some things couldn’t be fixed. Sometimes your apology meant nothing, to anyone. The only option was to learn to live around the awfulness, like a river flowing over stones. I tried to explain that to Alice, but she refused to listen.
“I just want to tell his family that he wasn’t stealing anything,” Alice had said, sitting on the edge of my bed as I leaned back against the wall. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days.
“Alice, come on,” I said in my most reasonable voice. “How can you possibly tell his parents without also admitting you were on the roof with him? That we all were.”
She was undeterred. “I’ll figure out a way. First, I need to get to Hudson and find his family. Then I can, I don’t know, leave an anonymous note or something. I’m not going to do anything that puts you all at risk, obviously. This is just something I need to do for myself.”